I want to hear your stories & advice of how to healthily process your partner having sex with someone else for the first time 🙂

Context for those who want the tea:

My nesting partner (M36) & I (F36) agreed to open our relationship in December 2023.

We both have been talking with other people since then, but neither of us has had safer sex with anyone else until this weekend (him).

As for me, I've mutually masturbated with 1 person. There have been opportunities for sex, but I haven't had the bandwidth with grad school & work.

This was with a person he had dated & had sex with before we entered our monogamous (at-the-time) relationship 2 years ago. I feel a-okay with that as it stands currently.

I split my time between our home & elsewhere 3 hours away for school. So I was okay with her coming to our home to stay the weekend while I was away.

Throughout the weekend, I thought here & there about the probability of them having sex, which we had all agreed was okay. It was a surprisingly manageable distress!

Now that I know for sure that they've had sex, I'm at a different point in this process. Now I'm processing the fact it actually happened, versus it as a possibility.

I know feelings of jealousy are normal, and mine are at about a 3/10, so I'm happy that myself, my partner, and she have taken this step together & come out okay the other side!

I want to make sure to keep up the healthy processing, including managing understandably difficult emotions & celebrating wins! Your input is invaluable ❤