For context I (F 30) and boyfriend (M 25) have been dating for a year and a half. ( Mind you this has been long distance for multiple reasons) I am monogamous, and he is not, he considers himself ok with both poly and monogamous relationships but the majority of his past relationships have been poly. When we started dating we both agreed that our relationship would be closed and mono and has been this way for the entire relationship.

Apparently over recent months this hasn't been an ok thing anymore. It should be noted that he also doesn't experience sexual attraction, he finds that those type of acts just to be for entertainment as he doesn't get anything from them and it's not different from enjoying a video game or a tv show (his words not mine). He is however able to feel romantic attraction, and he feels that with me. But now, he feels confined, situations where he would normally be able to flirt and go farther than that with other people have come up and because we are closed and mono he can't fully participate in them. He says that being able to do those things- aka sexual acts- with other people is purely just one way he gets to know people better. So he wants our relationship to be open but still mono. How he described it is, "if the situation presents itself to be able to sleep with other people, he wants the option of being able to say yes and do it, or to decline them" instead of just automatically declining them because we are in a closed relationship. I have always been in monogamous, closed relationships, I have a very hard time understanding why you would want to do those things with someone other than your girlfriend who you say you love and i love him too

. I feel hurt and confused on whst to do because this is the first relationship I've ever been in with someone of this mindset. I feel as though asking for consent to change our closed relationship to open this far into our relationship is just an excuse for him to be able to do things with other people, or 'consentual cheating' for lack of a better term. That's why I've come here to try and get advice from people who know more about this than me, and can help me understand what to do or just help me understand this in general. Thank you