My partner and I opened things up about a year ago, and had some initial rough patches, decided to close things off in the short term while we reconnected and realigned. We have been discussing opening back up, and I wanted to share something really helpful.

I had a pretty rough dating history prior to her, and definitely had some relationship insecurities which I recognized going into opening things up the first time. Someone suggested polysecure, and it was helpful, but I still had a hard time putting it into practice and often still had attachment crisis's around her dates.

After taking time to reconnect (couple months) I'm rereading it in preparation, and holy heck it's so much more profound after having experienced some of these things. I was reading sections and just felt like it was describing my experience on her date nights perfectly, and then the next section would be a roadmap of what to do, or maybe it is something I could specifically target with my therapist.

It's a great book in general, I've suggested it to my mono friends as well even, but damn does it hit different after you have some lived experience with ENM. Just highly recommend it to anyone struggling, as well as a reminder to reread if you already have and are struggling anyway.