So I'm new to ENM/poly life...single woman, I've only ever had sexual relationships with men to this point. I am self-admittedly a bit of a sex addict so it makes it hard to me to develop an emotionally intimate relationship with a man, and I don't have many platonic friends on that note either, none outside of work. But anyway...
Met an openly ENM/swinger married man on tinder. I've told him I basically just need a fwb with him because I'm trying to separate out dating from sex, so I'll be platonically attempting dating with ither men while periodically having sex with him when the schedule allows. He's cool with that which is great. We've been talking for close to 2 months and finally had our first encounter this morning. Last week, prior to meeting, he mentioned I'd be a fantastic unicorn, as I seemed adventurous, beautiful, etc, and his wife approves of me. I haven't had any desire for being with a woman previously, but now I am at least a bit curious, so much so that I've opened my tinder up to looking for women...I think me exploring outside of this couple first feels safer; my logic is if it doesn't work out with her (and if she's my first woman it may not), I don't want it to risk my fwb relationship with him (she has no problem finding partners whereas I'm the first he's had in months. I know the risks of being a unicorn, but that particular situation would have to be absolutely perfect for me to go ahead in that direction...despite my intense sex drive I know I can't JUST be a sex toy in that type relationship and I'd need a more steady throupling/friendship with both of them.
Obviously my feelings here are all over the place because this whole thing is totally new to me, both being ok with him being ENM from the start and also now considering relationships with women. But I'm weirdly excited and actually feel more self-confident than I have in years. Anybody else been through something similar and have guidance? Tips? Things to avoid/look for/ask for? I don't really have anyone else I can talk to about this. And also...I am a gift-giver, it is how I show love/appreciation...but would it be appropriate to gift a small gift to her, when we haven't met, as a token of appreciation for basically letting me develop a fwb relationship with her husband?
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