My partner and I are in a very loving cutie vibe relationship. I want to stress out that we are both very happen with 95% of our relationship.

We consider ourselves swingers but we also can date separate. My partner has sexual desires that they searches with other people. It isn’t always easy for them to find it but they had a few nice encounters with different parners. It is not that i don’t want to do it with them but they don’t want it to be done by me. I’ve felt quite unsure about it in the past and i would rather like that i could do it to them. This is not always easy for me but we’ve found a way to make it work. We communicate(d) a lot and really listen to each other and work on our relationship all the time. I also have my specific kinks. I tried searching other fellow kinkers to do this but this seems impossible (or I’m looking in the wrong places). I’ve had one other encounter but it wasn’t at all what i wanted and i really missed some connection.

I asked if they want it to do with me again (we already did it once or twice over the years) but basically the answer was “search someone else to do this”. I’ve told them I can’t seem to find one and i need a real connection. The reply i got was “yeah, i don’t know what you are expecting of me. It doesn’t do much for me”.

It made me thinking i also do stuff they like that i don’t necessarily like myself. But i get a huge kick of seeing them enjoying themselves.

And aren’t there many other things people do to make their partner happy (sexual and non-sexual) that they don’t necessarily like doing themselves? (I don’t like to go to the cinema’s but every know and then I will happily join if it makes them happy and i have a good time bc they have)

Aita for not understanding why they wouldn’t do it with me?

Just to make it clear: I specifically am not telling genders bc i have the feeling people answer differently when they know. I don’t know if my kink is important. Let’s call it light bondage/sensory deprivation.