Warning: This is a total and complete 'poor us' rant; please skip it if you're not into hearing about others frustrations, though we wish we had read more of these to prepare us. We've chatted with others in ENM from around the world and it seems to be pretty common in the ENM, but it's not something we had really considered.

How it started: My partner and I laid out all of wants, needs, desires, and boundaries over the course of almost a year. When we finally felt that we had all of our ducks in a row, we excitedly set out to find what we were looking for. We weren't expecting to find anyone(s) quickly, in fact we just said that we'd "go slow" with it, but to say that we were ecstatic to begin would still be an understatement.

How it happened: as one app but then became many. Then verification picture after verification picture, paying for sites and apps like they were just coffees, then going to meet and greets and socials and even going to a few "munches" (don't recommend for enm!). We had some dates here and there and we did meet wonderful people, but nothing we'd consider for more than friends. Like ever.

How it's going: There are thousands of ENM people around us, but no one appeals to us in one way or another. Physical attraction is just as important as chemistry and we've come to the frustrating realization that in the world of ENM, we can only get one of these. Outside if ENM, we have no problem finding this combo of attraction and chemistry. TRIGGER WARNING: It almost starts to feel like ENM is nothing but the rejects; are we the rejects now?? Kidding but kind of not too.

What was supposed to be fun and exciting and growing for us has now turned into fantasy and 'what-if' only. We've deleted all of our profiles, cancelled all of our events, and are going to treat this like we are single and looking for a partner again, you know, when you're truly single and frustrated and decide to spend time on yourself and suddenly Mr/Ms perfect comes out of nowhere? That's where we are.