I (29m) am going to have a first conversation with my partner (31f) about opening our relationship and I’m looking for some advice on how to approach it.

I want to add some context because I think our situation might be somewhat atypical. We’ve been together for over seven years and are currently talking about getting married in the near future. Early in our relationship, she told me that she had a very low sex drive and considered herself demisexual. A few years later, she confessed that she is asexual. Over the entirety of our relationship we’ve had sex 7-8 times in total and not at all in the last three years. I’ve come to the conclusion that simply never having sex again is not an ideal option for me, and neither is rare sex with an uninterested partner. Therefore I want to at least explore the possibility of seeking it elsewhere. In all honesty, I likely would have arrived at this point sooner, but I had some hang ups about the idea of it due to growing up with monogamy being presented as the only normal/possible option. In the last year I’ve been untangling my own thoughts and feelings related to the separation of sex from emotional attachment. To be absolutely clear, this is not an attempt to save the relationship. We could continue as we have so far. I’ve accepted the possibility of never having sex again. As stated above, I don’t consider it the ideal situation, but I am ok with it if that’s what we decide on as a couple. Three years without sex hasn’t changed how I feel about her. I love her more every day, we’ve built an amazing life together, and I look forward to and cherish every moment with her. That said, there is a part of me that feels that I am missing out on something. So, if she agrees to it, I want to give this a try. We’ve already been having conversations about sex in our relationship, but I’m ready to start talking about opening it. (I’m fairly certain she’s already aware that I’d like to at least talk about it and has just been waiting for me to get there in my own time)

 Anyway, what I’m looking for right now is some help with how to have that conversation. I can sometimes struggle to express my thoughts and feelings in spoken words, and I’d like to go into this conversation equipped with the language and tools necessary to have a productive and healthy discussion.