I'm a Christian. In my Religion there is a commandment called "thou shalt not covet another mans Wife" but in reality I already have. By all rights and pretenses I should go to hell. But I not only love this person and her husband. I view them as the best example that ever happened to me. She did not judge me. He didnt get mad. And both are well aware that i love her and want her in my life, romantically and sexually. He is monogamous, and she has brought up that they were considering polyamory. I see myself as both single yet complicated and polyamorous. The desire to love more than one person at a time is deeply rooted into me, and I have been rejected over it before. I have tried to search for a safe haven for years Social sites. Fetish sites. Online communities. And I have been banned or Suspended and silenced over and over again over my beliefs and my fetishes. These were the only people who ever let me breathe. And I cant see myself being able to love anyone else if they cant accept them in my life.. Judge me if you must. But I cant be without my friends because to me they are my unintended family, and I could never be without them in my life.