My partner and I have been together just over a year. He has a good friend named Eleanor. They have known each other for about 10 years. To my knowledge they have not had a sexual relationship or any relationship beyond friends. To give some detail on her, she is gorgeous, intelligent and talented. She is quite successful in her field (artistic/creative) and in general a very charismatic person. I'm mostly trying to illustrate here that I wouldn't find it at all strange that he was attracted to her. I think tbh, it would be hard for him not to be.

Last week he told me he was going to see her. She was staying somewhere a bit far out that would take about 1.5 hrs to get home at the end of the night. I asked him to please let me know when he got home so I didn't worry because it was getting late. The next morning he told me he stayed over. Just felt a little odd. Why wouldn't he tell me he wasn't going home when I texted him goodnight? It wouldn't have been strange at all for him to stay given the distance and I wouldn't have cared.

We went to her place again over the weekend. It was our date night and we had wanted to take a drive up to the mountains and I guess he told her what our plan was so she invited us over. It was gonna take a couple of hours to get to her and we discussed leaving her place by a certain time. We did have somewhat of a time constraint where we needed to be home at a max of sometime early the next morning (but I didn't want to stay that long and he said he didn't either). We get there and at first its fine, her ex partner and his new partner were there and all three of them had been drinking quite a lot. The plan was to play a board game and hang out a bit but they had had too much to drink to play. The couple ended up wandering off by themselves so it was just us and Eleanor. But really, it was me watching them flirt with each other.

Eventually, I went and sat in the living room by myself but he barely noticed I had left. After awhile I pulled him aside said we should be going soon and he said we didn't need to be home till the morning and I should enjoy myself. I sat alone for awhile more and the sense that something (aside from it being rude) was very wrong with what was happening grew. This was supposed to be our time together and he was ignoring me for her. I told him again we should be heading out and he finally acquiesced. The drive home was odd. I definitely got the sense that he wanted to be there longer and he seemed bothered that I wanted to go. He thought maybe I'd had too much to drink and was worrying about getting home but that wasn't it I'd barely had anything to drink at all. The whole vibe of the night was off and I wasn't having a good time sitting by myself while he was so intensely focused on her, which is why I wanted to leave.

Anyway, we got home early in the morning and went right to sleep. I left shortly after we woke up. When I left he said he'd see me later in the week. Yesterday I let him know that I had plans weds and thurs. Thats when he told me that Eleanor had already made plans with him for tonight. I feel frustrated. Its not that he needs to check with me first before making plans with his friends, but we identified mondays and tuesdays and days we set aside for seeing each other. The idea was to offer some flexibility in scheduling, where if we weren't free for one of the nights we'd make plans for the other. Except in this case we didn't see each other Monday and he made plans with her for Tuesday without checking in with me. They are going to have dinner and play a board game, which I could have joined them for. It feels like he didn't want me there, like there is something he is not telling me/ hiding from me about the two of them.

I'm not a jealous person in the least. He has always had many partners and a large group of friends. His crushes don't make me insecure. We tend to tell each other if theres someone we are crushing on and its not a big deal. I don't know why this would be any different but I really, really do not feel like I am getting the whole story here. At all. It bothers me a lot that he will make plans with her but doesn't put effort into making plans with me. What do y'all think? Am I making a big deal out of nothing?