I know you'll all crucify me for this but fuck it, I know I'm ENM, but where I'm at, Portland, Oregon, everyone is some combination of crazy, overweight, fugly, unkempt, and/or just nasty. I know attractive people exist, but where are they? I work remotely, and I'm at the point that I'm willing to relocate to find others.

The poly community here has recently decided that the cool thing to do is to say that you're "neurodivergent" then list out all of your emotional issues and baggage that guarantee that any kind of relationship with them is going to be one filled with childish drama. Why would anyone think that this is appealing? It's one thing to actually be, it's another to proudly proclaim it. I've dated these that are loud and proud, and I've dated others like myself who don't advertise it, and it's enough of a differences for me to have learned my lesson.

So I don't have anything against overweight people, in fact it's kind of sexy at times, but even the most active 'fluffy' person has never been able to keep up with my lifestyle. I'm active. I rock climb, I do long-distant cycling and multi-day hiking trips, and I want a partner that can, you know, be my partner in life.

When I switch my preferences back and forth from ENM/open and monogamy, it's night and day differences in the physical looks dept, too! ENM/open are like 80% circus side shows!

So, you've judged my preferences, downvoted me because I'm not all positive and shit, you've assumed my gender, you've assumed my sexual preferences, but can you at least tell me where I can find sane, in-shape, attractive people that pay attention their hygiene in ENM? They are easy to find in the mono world, but I'm morally against convincing them to join me in ENM.