Hi all, I’m wondering how people balance being vulnerable with new enm connections, by letting them get to know you, your dynamic with your partner(s) etc., with trying to manage your expectations so that you don’t feel too disappointed when people ghost or don’t follow through with things they’ve said.

I tend to take what people say literally. So when a person says yes let’s meet again or we share what we might get up to, I perceive it as something we both are up for. Because they said they are.

And it’s totally fine for someone to change their mind. I know I’m not entitled to their time, especially if they have a primary partner/are hierarchical. I’m also not at all offended if they no longer find me attractive either. Sometimes I would like an explanation just to understand how we could go from being open together on a date to me getting ignored.

So does anyone have any tips, tricks, hints for holding both things at once: being vulnerable but not being hurt or let down over and over by new connections? Or is this inevitable?

I don’t want to close off from people but also don’t want to be worn down!