My wife (30f) and I (28m) have been practicing ethical non monogamy for a couple years now where my side of the relationship is closed and her’s is open. I have experienced plenty of jealousy but it’s usually something we both perceive as “hot”. (We have done degrading stuff and more friendly things both)

Just recently she has met a new potential partner and the jealousy I feel about him is not the same and it has 100% everything to do with his looks. The guys before him have always been very well endowed but usually just skinny, not mega fit guys but this guy is chiseled, abs and everything. I work out a lot but I also eat a lot 😂 so I’m big and strong but not defined like he is. So I can’t get into it because for the first time I guess I feel weak or actually not as good as the other person? I can’t seem to get over that.

We have talked about it together and she is bummed but fine with dropping him and only picking people who aren’t so fit in the future but I feel like that is also a bit ridiculous on my part to make her go back on all the effort she already put in to talking to the guy and filter out anyone who is super fit in the future.

Would not mind to hear thoughts. Am I being reasonable or should I get over it. Throwaway account for obvious reasons.

Tl;dr

Usually fine with wife sleeping with other guys. She met a guy who is more fit than I am. Suddenly the jealousy isn’t fun. Do I need to just get over it or should I let her filter out fit guys for my sake.