Disclaimer: I have only been mono my whole life.I know almost nothing of ENM.

I broke up with my ex boyfriend years ago. We were FWB for a while afterwards, but fell out of contact. Recently, he reached out and asked me to go on a coffee date with him. I was hesitant but agreed.

We spent about 2 hours at the coffee shop catching up, it was going pretty well, then shortly before I ended the date he told me he had a partner, then quickly added “we’re ethically non monogamous, though!” and then tried to angle the conversation to asking me to be his side piece (for lack of better term). I didn’t give him an answer yet.

I feel that he should’ve mentioned the partner before the date, so we’d be on the same page from the beginning. But I don’t know if that’s standard practice or if I’m just a little salty because i felt tricked.

Do you usually tell someone you’re in an ENMR before or after you go on a date?

Again, I’m really uneducated on this style of relationship, so maybe this is how everyone does it and I just never knew.