I (43m) am married and go often to dancing events with my wife (42f), Quite rarely I go alone, and in one of those occasions I met a woman (45f), we danced a couple of times together, then we started talking, went for a drink and had a casual conversation. I did not hide I was married (ring plus mentioned my wife and daughter a couple of times). We than stayed in contact via whatsapp since we live quite far. The situation turned a bit differently as, with time, she started to mention several times how good was to dance with me, that she felt emotions that she normally does not feel with other partners, and then escalated a bit saying that she was thinking a lot about me and that it is a pity that we live far from each other. Although I was also feeling very much attracted by her as well, I never hided my wife from our conversations. Recently she came to a dancing event I organize, we met again, big hugs, good dancing, and there, she also met my wife in person. Since that event, we are still chatting a lot, but it is very low profile, no more allusive. I explain it to myself that either she liked me less, after having seen me for real a second time, or that from than since, it was clear for her that my wife really existed and thus she calmed down a bit.

At one point I discussed about everything with my wife, it was a good point to start an open and good debate about ENM. I will come back on this maybe, but now I would like to ask the ENM if you think that the 45f acted in an ethical way, dropping some bombs knowing I am married. My wife said she was totally inappropriate and there, I think the oppositve, meaning that one can always declare their feelings but than it is up to the other person to follow up on it in a way or in another. Funny enough, yesterday we were having dinner together and a similar topic came up. We thus asked this question (without the details of the story behind) to our daughter 14f, and she answered immediately, without any doubt something like "oh no, she is really a b*tch if she has done something like this". Than, she looked at my wife and said "wtf have you done?"