Long story short(ish), we're a queer couple, she's 34F lesbian, I'm 30NB asexual. We've been together for almost 10 years (married for 5 of those years). I identified as asexual before we even met, but I was always sex-positive although 100% inexperienced. We thought we had a pretty good dynamic when it came to sex and sexuality, but she has come to realize lately that she's been suppressing herself and she's not actually sexually satisfied and this causes her a great deal of unhappiness and self esteem issues. We plan on trying couple's therapy soon to try and improve our communication and work on our issues. We've also been considering experimenting with non monogamy, but tbh we've never felt like this was for us, so we're really unsure of how to approach it, how to figure out and discuss needs and insecurities, how to set boundaries and ground rules, etc.

If anybody has been through something similar of opening up a previously monogamous long term relationship/marriage, I would love any advice or tips on how you took the first steps, what kind of rules worked for you or not, maybe even content you looked into to educate yourselves (books, articles, videos, podcasts)