Ні,

I'm hoping for some supportive and kind advice and wisdom because I'm feeling particularly fragile about this. Without a terribly long story and background, I'm wondering if others have navigated the question of whether or not they really are at their limit with being able to tolerate the things that come with CNM (jealousy, not being the only one, not feeling special, difficulty not having a nesting partner while your partner does have a nesting partner and shared life with their other partner, etc.) I certainly have noticed my intense reactions become less intense over time with regards to jealousy or not feeling special but then I have these moments where I become completely dysregulated and then keep asking myself "is this part of deconstructing the monogamous paradigm and it's feeling really hard? Or have I hit my capacity and I'm just not capable of working through this?" Honestly it may be only me who knows the answer but I just wonder if others have had this experience and how you've worked through it or come to a decision? I've been journaling about it quite a lot, I think I just get so dysregulated sometimes or even anticipate future dysregulation that I become frozen and want to go into flight and just bow out of my current partnership.