Cannot stop obsessively thinking about a new partner.

First off, please be gentle. I don’t know if this is the correct subreddit but I have always found the poly/ENM community to be very wise and helpful for me to learn from. I’ve been with my husband for over a decade. Over the last two years we have morphed from “swinging” to more ENM. We have house swapped with other couples, so we’ve had sex without each other present in the past. But we both realized we have desires of being with other people sexually, independently. At this time we are not looking for deep emotional connections with other individuals but want to meet good friends and have great sexual experiences.

My husband and I had been seeing this guy a couple of times and the three of us would have sex (MMF and they are both straight). He is handsome, VERY good in bed, and cool/calm/confident vibes. Not to mention very respectful of boundaries and just everything you’d look for in a FWB. I recently expressed to my husband that I wanted to try having sex with other men alone because we are high school sweethearts and I never really had a chance to have experiences like this.

Well about a week ago I finally had sex with this guy alone at his place. And it was EVERYTHING. Mind-blowing. And now I can’t stop obsessing over him. I’m constantly thinking about if he likes me, what he’s doing, is he thinking about me, etc etc etc. He is single and very experienced in the ENM lifestyle. He lives a nomadic life and travels for work constantly. He’s not in town for more than one night at a time typically. Our conversations, both in-person and over text, are pretty superficial. Besides the basics, I really don’t even know a ton about him.

I’ve been trying all of the “right things”. Yoga, meditation, therapy. I can’t get my anxiety/fixation to calm down and it’s distracting me from my day to day life. Making me feel like my normal like is boring and unfulfilling compared to that.

I know that your first thought would be to STOP. Cut it off with him. However I have gotten like this once before in the past with a couple we were seeing. I would obsessively check my phone and think about them constantly. I don’t feel like HE is the issue. I think I am the issue. I don’t know if it’s because I never really dated in my 20s to know how to get used to these exciting feelings or if this means I’m not cut out for ENM. But most importantly I need help figuring out how to STOP OBSESSING because it’s making my anxiety borderline severe.

I’ve talked to my husband about these feelings and he’s very supportive. Willing to do whatever I need and not upset. But I don’t even know what I need.

Other important tidbits: I have ADHD and a history of anxiety/depression.

Looking for any input, advice or resources if you have any articles or videos you have found useful.