My (currently long distance) partner and I recently started having an open relationship. We've been very involved with each other for about a year, and plan to move in together in July.

He has a very high sex drive, me not so much. We're also both bottoms, and he's expressed frustration before at me not topping him enough, or with enough stamina (I'm chronically ill). He's also been trying to combat dysphoria (we are both trans) that came up from learning that I felt I might have a genital preference for cis guys, and that has involved seeking out other partners to validate him, which I totally understand.

Anyway, this past week he had his first two hookups. The first was a mediocre hookup with a cis guy, which did not really bother me. It was kind of the standard meet in a car and do a few things, go home. The next one, though, has really thrown me for a loop and is making me question if I can do this at all.

He had amazing, amazing sex with a trans guy who is a top. And who does have a lot of stamina (like, a lot) to do a lot of intense things to him for a long period of time. That is definitely not true of me. I feel so glad that he was able to be with someone who was that fun and completely loving his body. But it's certainly really hard. He did sexual things with him he's never done with me. It was clearly better sex than he has with me.

I'm not sure I can get through this. It hurts. I don't know if I can have him living here and doing this each week, maybe multiple times per week. I think I will go out of my mind. I'm already really struggling : Want to sleep all the time so I don't feel, stomachache or sick to my stomach all the time. I Miss having that strong feeling of safety and love with him that I did have. I feel like this adventure is primary for him right now, and I get it, but I also can't handle it apparently.