TLDR; I'm crazy for this girl and she's been living with my LTP and I for about 8 months now. I've expressed my feelings to her as they've intensified, and we've become good friends and genuinely do caring things for each other consistently every day. How can I learn to be a more effective communicator and better partner? My relationship experience is limited to men so far, and I've made a goof of myself enough times in this daze of being swept off my feet and this new experience of loving a woman. I don't want advice telling me why a triad is not smart, that's not an issue for us, I am open to general triad advice. I mainly want to learn women and verbal/nonverbal communication styles.

Hi all! I'm here to get advice on understanding communication between courting women. I've known I was bi (pan?) since high school and have had a couple random sexual encounters with ladies, but never dated or pursued one. Fast forward to now. I've been living with my LTP (long term partner), my bf, of a year and a half for 2 years now. Before we entered a relationship, my LTP and I discussed ENM, knowing monogamy isn't for us, and decided we are open to situations which naturally form and that we have no need or want to seek.

About 8 months ago we had a girl roommate move in, and they've dated before - and no, there is no fear or insecurity I'll be replaced, we are stable and we are here long-term. She isn't like that and neither is he. Plus they don't even talk one on one yet, it's not like they don't have healing to do before they could date again. The dynamic for us all is there though, and I welcome and desire it. I've realized this whole current situation is the happiest I have been for the longest consistent time maybe ever and that I don't just fear hurting or losing him, but her too. It's just second nature to envision us all when we are talking about the future.

I felt a spark with this girl from moment 0 and I genuinely fell in love quickly, and it has only intensified day by day. I told my LTP pretty early on after I recognized I had feelings I couldnt contain, I and gained permission to pursue her. When I initially expressed my interest to her, I asked her to please verbalize if I ever make her uncomfortable, if something I say or do is unwelcome, or if she wants me to stop because most importantly, I want no harm to her. I also expressed initially that I welcome the dynamic between the 3 of us if it ever happens on its own. Later, I asked her if I could start flirting, and yet later I expressed to her just how crazy I am about her and that it is intensifying deep down.

She has not thrown any red flags on my pursuit, and even seems to enjoy it sometimes or tease me. We are good friends and we take care of each other in the small things day to day, we have a great connection. I have had to learn and understand her better though because sometimes early on I realized I wasn't catching nonverbal signs when she would communicate her needs to me. I would unknowingly overstep her space without realizing because I'm so head over heels and inexperienced.

I'm mainly here for advice on being a more effective communicator and understanding women. I'm so inexperienced, and their way of communication is so foreign to me as much of it seems nonverbal. Nonverbal cues especially have never been a strong suit of mine. To me, the communication seems most important, verbal and nonverbal. In your experience, what are some definite signs which indicate withdrawing and that say 'I'm really not into that at this exact moment please get away'? And the opposite - what are some ways women communicate a clear green light that says 'Please please shower me with attention, I welcome it and I am enjoying this and I want you to pursue me or tease me'?

I mainly want to learn better communication, especially from and to women, to be be a better partner, but I understand the whole triad dynamic is a factor. Please share your experience - success or failure stories, what you learned, why it did or didn't work. What are some extra efforts I can consider to meet my boyfriend's needs or other things to consider in this dynamic?