Hi all,

I'm (32m) pretty new to this with my partner (28). She's queer, which is sort of what led to us opening up, her with women at first and then when she began to share the fulfillment she was getting from her other partners, I realized how much was missing for me as well and we opened it up for me as well. I have had a ton of issues with apps being in a more rural area, I'm a straight white cis man who has a lot of typical male interests. Working out, football, basketball, etc. and most of the people in the area open to this are somewhere on the queer spectrum and very much do not want to be with a straight man.

I also have autism, and a TON of social anxiety as a result. I have read advice on here before that ENM people should not approach others in public venues, but my only real public venue is the gym where it doubly bad to approach women, and I have had literally zero interest from others in the 2 months since we have been open for me. I'm terrified to talk to new people and never know what to say which makes this so hard.

She wants to try ENM cocktail events so I can meet people in person since the apps aren't going well, but I'm worried that in person events will make things worse since at large unstructured social events I tend to stand awkwardly in the corner while she's very much in her element flitting around and making new friends. I'm at a real loss knowing what to do, and am wondering if anyone else has any experience in a similar situation.