My husband’s first experience spun me right out (and vice versa). It was a hard few first months where I grieved the relationship that had been and before I felt we had rebuilt a new one in its place. I kept learning a lot that first year. I’m not saying it was hard the whole year, but we kept adding new skills and new knowledge of what it means to be non-monogamous.

I don’t know how long you’ve been together before opening up, but it is not as simple as just “have sex with others”. You are changing your whole relationship dynamic. That’s going to take some getting used to. What you had is gone. Something new is being built in its place. You are now in that awkward stage of demolition with all the new building materials waiting by the side.

I have just written a lengthy comment to the post below you on how I worked on my emotions in the beginning (well, I keep doing the work to be honest). I recommend you take a look at that as well.

Currently the happy spot me and my hubby have found is mfm threesomes. There's always a dude who is eagerly dtf, and we dont have to worry about emotions getting involved. My hubby loves the thought of a fmf, but it's complicated. I don't think their are any girls that super excited to be used as sex tools, but men seem to jump at the opportunity.

Just last week we tried doing a date with a couple, and they were wonderful, but the resulting dynamic was terrible for our home life. We have always been 100% with each other in thoughts/dreams/desires/experiences. Like we hate to spend any minutes apart.

The couple was a polyamory couple, and they wanted to fall wildly in love, and that is just too disruptive to the beautiful home life we have built. I CAN'T stand the thought of my hubby not wanting the night to end and having to come home to me. He feels the same way.

The NRE is amazing, but I don't think we could maintain the intoxicating love we have had for each other for over a decade if we tried to spread it out to other people. We started this journey to experience new physical things, not change our relationship.