I want to share this story about a recent post (about two to three weeks ago), deleted now but I hope OP shows up again and gives it another try. In this post, OP suggested that they were not ready for a MFM. Their partner was bi and they wanted to explore this side, together, with them. Yes, the dreaded MFF. Immediately it was "UNICORN HUNTERS!" and then, of course, the usual group showed up and just couldn't resist tearing into them and accusing them of being homophobic and even transphobic(??). It was a small post, a quick series of questions about getting started, what to expect, where to look, what to read, and regular stuff really. Absolutely no reason to chide them but there they were...

We didn't see the homophobic or transphobic parts to this at all but we thought that maybe we were missing something or there was context with OP so we went and looked at OP's history. In his history were posts and comments in his struggles about being sexually abused by male figures when he was younger and all the mental fallout from that. OP didn't mention this in his post but I'll be honest, it made me disgusted for being even remotely associated with the ENM community here. What's more, these throwing the blind accusations out were being upvoted. It wasn't just them being toxic. It was gross. Really gross and obviously it's not something we've been able to shake. This past week there's been more "OPP", "homophobic", and "transphobic" accusations being wildly thrown out. I bet no one here even realized that one of these who was being called "homophobic" was a lesbian.

There's no shortage of comments here or in other non mono subs that jump on others for not immediately being okay with everything. Like you have to open it all up, date separately, be anti-hierarchy, both be bi, both be pan, and if one of your are trans, there's some kind of bonus you get. We don't see this irl but on here it's the norm.

This needs to be said over and over, It's okay for a person to only be attracted to one gender, whether they are gay or straight. And it's equally okay to be bi, pan, or whatever else you want. As a community, it would benefit us to think about this more before we throw out accusations or upvote those.