hi friends, my partner and I (31M and 29F) have been ENM for a number of years now. We are each other's primary partner, and we don't have other romantic relationships outside of our own. We mostly play/date together, but he also goes on dates separately. This week, he had coffee with a new girl he just met. She's 19 (turning 20 in a week or two, but still), and I do NOT like that she's so young. It feels icky, like, we're adults! what do you have in common with a 19 year old?

It feels unfair to ask him not to see her - it's just sex, it's her decision, I slept with much older guys when I was in my early 20s, and most importantly, I trust my partner. he's a great guy, and I know that she'd have fun with him and he'd treat her well.

I know that a big reason I'm upset about it is because of my own insecurities about aging and being a woman. I know that it has nothing to do with her. We talked about it and he reassured me that he's attracted to her in spite of her age, not because of it. He liked her because she presented herself as a mature, 'real' person. But I just can't shake this insecurity and feeling of ickiness, and it's making me spiral a little. Has anyone been in a similar situation? How do u reason with it? Any advice?