Generally, I'm meeting most people through apps or events so it's usually not an issue.

But last weekend I met someone who I found attractive mentally and physically.

At one point they joked that, because I also had young kids and childcare is hard to come by, we hardly ever get to go out on dates with our spouses but we at least found a groove where we can be away 1-2 nights a week to do hobbies, where they said humorously "date other people"?.

Which of course would have been the time to be like "well now that you say that.. " haha but it was not a great setting.

So, they accepted my friend request and I'd really love to message them and say "so it's funny you said that because we're actually ENM" but I don't want to be awkward vs. "too aggressive?" So just wondering how other people ask out others "in the wild" when you know both of you are married and monogamy is the default setting.