So we’ve been dating a couple for about 18months and know they like to go to swinger resorts like desire each year. My wife has had issues with this in the past and gets hung up on them going and fucking a ton of people and it makes her feel less desirable. That’s not the issue here so please don’t get fixated on that, that’s her issue, not mine.

So in March the four of us are away for a birthday in Vegas that my wife planned meticulously for the other wife and I notice they put up a notification they will be at hedonism in November. Fine, we’ll deal with that when we deal with it. So they’re going in two weeks and haven’t mentioned it yet. I asked them yesterday when they were going to mention it and they said they were not going to say anything and just go and not tell us because of the stress it caused my wife last time. I’m pretty sure there a lot of potential fallout from this. The only one who doesn’t know in this is my wife, if she finds out I knew I’m likely going to get grief. If the couple go and then my wife finds out they kept it from her, that’s not going to be great. If she finds out they booked it while on a pretty special trip with us that also has potential to go badly. Just don’t know what to do here. Any advice would be appreciated.