Greetings everyone,

It's been quite some time I'm thinking about writing this message, and I think it would be important to finally free my mind. I'm not sure what I'm expecting here but at least I will finaly have talked.

To set the context, my girlfriend and I (M24) decided to open our relationship around october 2021. We were in an relationship since 5 years with no jealousy so it just made sense. Just as a side note, we decided to not do hookup but more look for friendship with benefits, since we definitely just want to make new friends. And also I'm demisexual so I need to know my partner.

After quite some time to struggle to find the right person, around may 2022 I finally start to talk with this girl. She is exactly the person I'm looking for. We share some very similar kinks (which is very important for me) and we start very quickly to bond, as she become what I could call a best friend. We had such a similar mind, she was the real friend I never had who I could say anything, expressing all my fears and confessing my thoughts. Also she had a nice boyfriend that got along quite well with my girlfriend.

Few month later the 4 of us are really good friends. One time as my girlfriend and the boyfriend are having time, they discuss a lot, he hits a certain topics that reveals that my gf might have some DID (Dissociative identity disorder) (we already had some clues before but were rejecting the truth). This acted as a huge shock on her, suddenly revealing a lot of stuff she was trying to hide and unveiling a lot of identities. During this short period, it happens that my girlfriend (more exactly one of the identities) could get very harsh with me.

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After some time (around september I think or November) the girl tells me that they don't want to see my gf anymore, that she is a toxic person. She was fine to see me again but not her, whatever we could say. I couldn't really continue to come see her knowing she would hate my gf so I decided, ripping off my heart and my self confidence to stop seeing her. I know all of this might sounds ... strange for "just loosing a friend", but I'm the person who everyone confess to, I'm helping everyone but often forget about myself, and she was just ... doing it.

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It really ruined my self-esteem as well as my sexuality. I really needed to fight against the idea of just never trusting anyone and never telling my most hidden thoughts. For month I was in a state swinging between mentally fine and depressive moods. I know it migh sounds strange, but as the person

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They had one boardgame that I needed to recover at a convention where they had a stand. Only the boyfriend handed me the game, the girl not even looking at me. At that moment my legs were shaking crazily, as I was just moving away really making me feel bad.

So here we are now, one year after as I finally write this story, I know that I still haven't completely healed from this but I'm starting to feel way better, in my body, in my sexuality. I've recently met that really interesting german girl and I'm sure things will get even better, even if, as now, she is still somewhere on my mind.

Thank you sincerely for reading it. I definitely don't blame the open relationship and feels really happy to share this with my lovely girlfriend who is doing a lot of effort and being a great person