Let me provide some background first. I (29 M) spent 2022 studying in Canada. When I moved there, I was in an open relationship. My partner didn't move with me, and initially, I was mainly seeking casual connections since I would eventually return to my home country. However, everything changed when I met this person (30 NB) in June last year. I fell deeply in love with them and decided to embrace a more polyamorous approach, as they also identified as poly. Since then, we've experienced both wonderful and challenging moments during the eight months we spent together. I returned to my home country, Brazil, this past February, and now we're navigating a long-distance relationship. We share a beautiful bond, communicating daily, providing mutual support during tough times, enjoying date nights, and addressing insecurities openly. They've made plans to visit me here in Brazil during the winter, and we have just 75 more days until we reunite.

Throughout our long-distance phase, I had a fear of the day when they might form a deeper connection with someone else. While both of us have engaged in casual encounters and gone on dates occasionally, nothing too serious had come up until now. While I'm genuinely happy that my partner has found someone else who treats them well, given the challenges they've faced in the past, I can't help but feel anxious. In the past, we've always shared details about the people we're seeing, celebrating each other's experiences. However, this time, I find myself withdrawing and feeling sad. Consequently, my partner puts aside their excitement to address my emotions, an act of kindness for sure, but that leads them to feel guilty and frustated. In turn, I feel remorseful for dampening their enthusiasm.

I considered the possibility of them not disclosing this new relationship to me, but that goes against our pattern of sharing. I worry that this might breed resentment, where they're excited to share something but feel unable to do so. We've discussed it, and decided to continue sharing, which I believe is the best course of action for me. From past experiences, I've realized that my anxiety peaks when I'm in the unknow. I'm even open to connecting with this new person.

I'm experiencing emotional exhaustion due to the ongoing effort of stepping back and reflecting on my emotions over the past few days. I find myself longing to embrace my partner and regain a sense of calm. While we have engaged in conversations, received reassurances, and moments of laughter and acknowledgment of my emotional progress have provided a temporary boost. However, observing their excitement, their joy upon receiving a text, triggers a renewed wave of sadness. I feel like the partner who brings up challenging conversations. The less "fun" partner, and it's disheartening. How to better deal with this?