I am into BDSM, I am a sub & a few months ago I met a dom (D). Our Dynamic is amazing, they're my person but they're not my significant other. Due to trauma on both sides, we both said we didn't want to be in a relationship but slowly as time goes on we've developed feelings & we both are on the same page about that, we're taking things slow. Despite confesing our feelings, we aren't dating & they know that I don't plan on monogamy again. They said they're open to other partners, but aren't looking.
In comes B, I met them in a lifestyle group. We have become really good friends, best friends even & have plans to explore things sexually together. We were joking around one day & now there are plans for a threesome after I introduced B to D. We were chatting together in a group text, but B & D talk separately too.
I'm sure you can see where this is going. D & I have a contract for our dynamic, lately D has been assigning points to B for punishment. It's fun & games until their conversations are taking place in both the group & sperate chats. It's stupid & I KNOW it is, but I get jealous a bit when I see D giving B more attention. The other day B & I were being bratty in our group chat, but D missed all my brattiness & was assigning B points but missing mine altogether. Appologized when I pointed it out.
I spent last night with D & we had another in depth talk about our feelings, basically professing our love for each other. It was a pretty emotional day, but good. I'm TERRIFIED of how this is going because of past trauma, D is being amazing & doing what they can to reassure me that they care & they're not going anywhere. B is amazing & is always pointing out how amazing D & I are together. How D is amazing & how there's no way they don't actually adore me with how they look at me.
This afternoon & tonight, D has been a little slow answering me. B is having a good time being bratty to D, I know this because B told & showed me. It looks like they might enter a dynamic, regardless D is hinting at giving B rules & punishment. Some of these rules/punishments are things that D&I negotiated for our dynamic, others are ones that I've hinted I'm ok with, but D has said they weren't ready to assign to me.
This jealousy or uneasiness is extra stupid, because I still have FWB that I had before D. I don't usually have time to see them these days, but I did last week. So I saw one I haven't seen for a bit. D said it was ok, but I felt guilty before & after. Before because D wasn't busy that night & I could have went there. After because I enjoyed it so much. D said they were absolutely fine, they just wanted zero details besides knowing where I was going beforehand.
How do I deal with this jealousy over D potentially taking on another sub? It shouldn't matter, but I still feel jealous when I see them having fun. This is my first non-monogamous FWB situation where we've fallen for each other & basically act as a couple, it's my first Dom, and my first true non monogamous situationship. Hellllpppp
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