Basically the title. I'm in therapy for a host of reasons related to DV from a past partner and childhood trauma and I had an unfortunate experience last night. I hadn't mentioned ENM to my counselor before this session (newish therapist), but I felt like I needed to in order to explain a story that happened (a somewhat humorous anecdote). He then asked me a lot of questions leading up to him asking me repeatedly, in different ways, whether or not I really wanted to be ENM or if I acquiesed to my husband's wanting extra-marital affairs. This is not something that ever happened - we had many conversations over a few years and neither of us rushed to do anything once we made the choice to open. We still check in with each other to make sure were both OK with the decision and treat it like an ongoing discussion.

My therapist wouldn't listen to this and seemed to be implying throughout the session that I hadn't actually chosen to be ENM, because I haven't "followed through" with it yet but my husband has recently. I'm not in a rush to consummate just to prove a point - I'd like to genuinely have a connection with someone. At a certain point in the session I kind of broke down and told him he was making me feel like I didn't have any agency in the matter, as if I were coerced into doing something I chose to do voluntarily. But it made me feel really triggerred to not believed about my own preferences/feelings, which is something I struggle with because of PTSD.

What I didn't say is that it feels really mysoginistic to assume a woman wouldn't choose ENM due to her own desires. Anyway, I'm wondering if any of you experienced something similar and how you handled it. I'm not sure if I need to give up on this therapist.