Hi. So I tried to reconnect with my family but it is very high stress each time.

I think I won't be reconnecting with my brothers or father or anybody else, but my mother tried to reconnect so we were trying.

The issue is like this. She thinks I am stuck on the past and thinks as she has already said she is sorry and that she can't change the past then that should be enough for us to move forward. I would love for this to be true but every time we attempt to move forward she still does the same thing of dismissing/ignoring (BUT without violence) and then when I get upset she thinks that I am blaming all my current problems on her, which is not true. She says she can't change and that I'm asking her to be a different person by caring about me the way I want to be cared about.

Has anybody ever reconciled and what did it look like for you?

She wants me to trust her and have conversations with her but even very mild conversations can get tense very quickly. For example, she said she couldn't do X for relative A because relative A was clearly stating she did not want the involvement and that she was doing what relative A wanted. I stated that just to be clear, I would appreciate something like X. Her response was that I was too complicated and that X was not suitable so she wouldn't do that for me.

Also today I realized she basically told all friends and family that I was upset with family and that nobody should contact me and that's why so many people did not contact me but somehow they supposedly ask about me every week/month/get together.

The thing is that none of those people contacted me directly. So I don't really know what to do because now it's been 3-5 years for most of them. I feel like if they actually cared they would check on me directly. Am I wrong for thinking that?