I have been NC with my mother for almost 4 years and haven't been in the same room as her in the last 5. My life has infinitely improved and has only gotten better in the years since. A little bit of background on the situation and thus the reason for the trigger warning. I was a sick kid that necessitated a lot of visits to the hospital and multiple surgeries that my mom took me too and took care of me. My mother is also the type of person who holds everything she does over your head and regards everything as a transaction. Any time I disagreed with something or didn't want to do something for her she would throw my medical history and that she has paid for things for me in my face to guilt me into it. This along with her alcoholism, gas lighting, and multiple disrespectful comments about my wife lead to NC with her. In August my mom was diagnosed with breasr cancer, I haven't reached our to her about it and so far I've only heard from my godmother who attempted to guilt me into contacting her. My wife and inhsbr trip planned for May next year and we will be visiting close by my mom. I'm planning on seeing my sister who lives with her so stopping by her house is unavoidable unfortunately as my sister doesn't drive and can't get herself around.

All this to say that I have a lot of guilt about the things she did for me and that I should be there for her especially in times of trouble. I don't know what to do and would love to hear some advice from anyone who has experienced a similar situation.