I was emotionally and sometimes physically neglected growing up. I was not allowed to have feelings. I was the "overly sensitive" scapegoat and the sun shone out of my younger brother's arse. He was beyond reproach, no matter how badly behaved he was.

As my parents have aged and become infirm, the younger brother now has to look after them. He has never had a job that has lasted longer than a couple of months and he has never left home and is now raging at the fact that he has been left to look after my parents. He had it cushy living off them, and now it's backfired. Karma, bitch.

The thing is, the rest of us would love to help but we (my other siblings) are all now wise to his bullshit and will no longer spend a single second of our lives in his company. With the family whipping boy (well, girl) out of the picture, he had no one left to project his rage onto, so when he shifted his focus to other family members, they suddenly realised what a total shithead he really is. They have admitted that I was right all along. That validation and vindicated felt, and still feels good. Better late than never!

Neglect made me hyper-independent. As I was frequently let down by others, I buckled down in a bid to make something of myself. I was the first in my nuclear family to go to university (I was ridiculed for doing this) and I moved out from my home town to my country's capital city. I was again ridiculed, mixed with fake concern that I would not last five minutes on my own because I couldn't cook or work a washing machine. Well, whose fucking fault was that, Mother?!

To top things off, I have emigrated to Europe. I have a family of my own and I am determined not to pass on any of my family shit to my little one. The cycle stops with me. There is no yelling in my house. No put-downs disguised as jokes. The little one tells me she loves me constantly and I keep saying the same to her. I go full-on Mr Rogers on her by telling her "you are perfect just the way you are."

I'm middle-aged now - your nuclear family is less prominent as you get older. You become immune to other people saying "but they're family!" I shut them up with "I don't let my friends treat me like shit - they don't get a Get Out of Jail Free card just because I happen to share DNA with them." It works. Feel free to steal that one.

It does get better - trust me on this. x