I’ve been no contact with my mother on and off since my twenties. The most recent no contact was 3 years ago. She sent a message telling me that she is moving on with her life and how I was mean and cold to her, etc.

I have a brother who was NC with her for almost a decade. He and I rarely talk as he is really toxic and also abusive.

All I’ve had is my grandma and my aunt. I have tried and tried to be close with them. This is my paternal side of family. My aunt who was also abused as a kid is loyal to bother her parents, my grandparents.

My grandparents were abusive but not to me because I didn’t see them much. Anyhow my aunt who is loyal to them appears to take my lack of loyalty to my own mother ( who she’s never been close with) personal. My mother has no connections to either of them b

In one of my last desperate attempts at being close with my aunt, I asked if she’d like to be my beneficiary. (My family is all about money and what other family members can do for them) she lied and said she’d be honored to be my beneficiary and then she never followed up with it. She literally ignored my follow up messages.

It’s so painful to know, the only two people that I thought cared for me are basically the same. I relied on a fantasy that they cared, because I needed some hope. I’m 38 years old in ACA working on the CSA I experienced. Will the pain of not being moved well ever get better?