You know how in movies cucumbers and eggplants are always dick jokes? I wanted to try it out, so I pulled a condom over a cucumber and fucked myself with it.

Now, usually i don’t like to fuck with things without a flared base in any hole but this cucumber was fucking gigantic, one of those GMO motherfuckers so I wasn’t worried about losing it in my tight pussy.

It was like fucking a giant cock, it was actually really nice. It had some natural bumps and ridges that felt really good and I found myself really putting in the work to jam it in my pussy over and over. I rode it until my knees gave out and I cummed all over the cucumber.

Too bad food rots because it was a really nice eco friendly dildo. Guess i’ll have to keep an eye out at the grocery store for another giant cock to fuck myself with.