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Part 48

In this part, there are people whose names I've changed to something obviously made up, Magneto and Loki. Don't judge me!
There’s also someone named Guru Chandler Bing, and though I have permission to use the persons real name, I had to change it because apparently his presence in my story raises flags for some people.

-Red

Wait, what? He knew I liked it? How embarrassing! I blushed and whined “Sir, I am shyyyyyy!!!!!”

He laughed and said, “Ok beautiful, let’s get going. My friend is expecting us, and we don’t do the late thing in this family.”

When he started driving, Gabriel decided to put on a podcast and said my curiosity might enjoy it.

Two guys were talking about how some guy named Mel Blanc, who used to do voices for cartoons, was somehow brought back to life by Bugs Bunny, one of the voices he used to do. It was fascinating!

I quickly became a huge fan of the podcast. They ignited my interest in stories and probably had some influence on the way I am telling my story.

I’ll tell you like Gabriel told me: “If you’ve never heard of Radiolab, you’re welcome.”

I asked Gabriel where we were going, and when he told me, I knew the drive would be a bit long; it was on the other side of town. The area itself was one of those places that every town has—the kind of area you don’t necessarily avoid, but you don’t look forward to going to, either. I knew the area well enough to avoid it after a certain hour.

I kept trying to get Gabriel to tell me what the “thing” was, but all he said was that it was a meeting type of thing, and I would be meeting a few of his friends. Obviously, my curiosity was far from satisfied, but I was still having a good day and feeling good, so I figured, how bad could it be?

While he was driving, I kept thinking about the following day and how I was supposed to be extra sensitive to Christina. I understood his explanation, his reasoning, and that he was not criticizing me; he was just asking me to be nice to his precious jiggly bitch. I also felt that if she was willing and able to soften herself up for me, it was only fair for me to return the favor.

I really didn’t have a problem with Chrissie—I liked her—but let’s face it, she was jiggly, and she was a bitch for trying to make me jealous.
There was a part of me that wanted to share with SOMEBODY the fact that her plan had backfired on her, but talking to someone else about that might open doors to questions I didn’t want to know the answer to. Then it hit me: THAT’S what Gabriel was talking about. Don’t ask questions I don’t want to know the answer to! HA!

I laughed internally, and I let out an audible exhale, but he didn’t catch it.

Then I started thinking about the conversation with Gabriel when he said, “Chrissie likes you and she wants to be your friend; she wants you to like her too.” What did that mean? Did she like LIKE me, or did she just like me? Was she bisexual and wanted to, you know? HA! Was I???

Nope! Let’s not open that door. Think about something else.

I decided to engage Gabriel in conversation; I thought maybe that could distract my mind from where it disturbingly wanted to go.

I said, “Sir, what was that, back at the café? The ‘Mental Orgasm’ you had?” He smiled and said, “I love your curiosity, Red… I really do. I think it was Dorothy Parker who said something along the lines of, ‘The only cure for boredom is curiosity… There is no cure for curiosity,’ and whatever else I have to say to prevent this conversation from taking place.”

I looked at him with a huge smile on my face; it was either very clever, or I had the biggest crush. Either way, I loved the way he tried to sidestep my question. I said, “That’s a great quote, Sir, and I will try to remember it and whatever else I have to say for you to talk about your mental orgasm.” We both laughed, and he said, “How original, Red.

Anyway, I don’t know if it is an actual ‘mental orgasm’ per se, but it happens to me randomly. I really don’t know how it works. It just happens.”

Oh, of course, THIS piece of vital information he doesn’t know! I said, “How convenient! So, why don’t you know? You never looked into it?” He responded, “Red, remember how I told you not to ask questions that you don’t want to know the answers to?

Well, I don’t want to know. Sometimes knowing can ruin the experience, and that’s an experience I don’t want to ruin for myself.”

How unsatisfying! I asked, “Can you at least tell me how it feels?” He took a deep breath and said, “It feels great! I love the feeling. It’s kind of a weirdly delightful cognitive dissonance that causes me to short circuit. A mild electric shock goes through my body, and all that makes me sort of… reboot like a computer.

That’s all I can tell you about it.”

I said, “What’s cognitive dissonance?” and he quickly said, “Let’s do this: you do a little research on what it is and then explain it to me. If I know you at all, I am sure this is not the end of this conversation.” OOOOOH! A mystery!

I said, “Why don’t you want to explain it to me? You explain everything else.”

With a mischievous grin on his face, he said, “For selfish reasons. If you are as curious as I think you are, you will investigate and understand it, which means that you will be invested in figuring out what my mental orgasms are. And when you do, I get to have them more often, and that’s a wonderful win for me. Don’t you think? You can become my ‘mental orgasm service provider,’ my MOSP.” I laughed as he sat there, his expression equal parts excitement and challenge. I said, “That’s manipulation, but… Challenge accepted, Sir!” He quickly answered, “Is it manipulation really, if you know exactly what’s happening?” While laughing, I said, “I will have to check the dictionary for that one.”

Then he made me promise that when I figured it out, I would never tell him how it works, even if he begged me to tell him. He emphasized that knowing how it works could potentially prevent him from feeling them, and he wanted to continue feeling it as long as possible. His face brightened like he’d just had a lightbulb moment, and he said, “Uh-huh! This is a great example of a Ulysses agreement and, ALSO, an example of how we protect one another.

I am making an agreement now, which will protect me from my own curiosity later, AND you will be protecting me by protecting my experience.”

Holy shit! I have a job and responsibility in this relationship now?! For some reason, the “protection” part REALLY sank in—I understood what he was talking about earlier.

I said, “Yes, Sir, I promise… And we keep our promises in this family, right?” He smiled and said, “Right!”

I was feeling high and proud at that moment, and can you blame me? I had never been responsible for caring for another person’s experience, or anything before, period… not to mention that I was wildly and frantically falling for him.

When we got to the place, Gabriel parked in the back alley in a dark area. Dark enough to make me worry a little bit; certainly not a place where I thought Gabriel would hang out.

There were a few people standing outside, or rather, the silhouettes of people, smoking cigarettes—and at least one of them was smoking a cigar. I could smell it as soon as we parked. My spidey senses were wildly going off, but I looked at Gabriel, and he didn’t seem concerned about anything. He opened my door, let me out, and I suddenly got nervous beyond my control, enough for Gabriel to notice. He said, “It’s OK, Red. I’m with you. Just be your beautiful, charming self.” I guess he thought I was nervous because of the social aspect of it, but I was fearing for my life!

It occurred to me that maybe everything we’d gone through was just a way for Gabriel to soften me up, gain my trust, and then bring me here as a sacrificial lamb for his cult and their dark overlord.

I couldn’t help myself and said, “Gabriel, I’m scared. What is this place?” His response was quick. He said, “What are you scared of?” I replied, “I don’t know; I don’t like this place.” Then he pressed his forehead against mine, placing his eyes directly in front of mine, and said, “Red, please don’t worry. There’s nothing to be afraid of. I’m here with you, and I will never let anything happen to you.” Trembling, I said, “You ask for a lot of faith, Gabriel,” and nervously smiled. I calmed down a bit, but then I thought, that’s exactly what someone I should be scared of would say, right?

As usual, Gabriel put his arm out for me, and I grabbed it, hanging on for dear life. As we walked, I noticed we were heading towards the group of smoking silhouettes. For fuck’s sake, Gabriel, what are you doing to me?!?!

When I finally got close enough to see the people, they were all smiling, laughing, and merrily talking. There were two guys and three girls. For some reason, seeing the girls put me a little more at ease. At least I knew they weren’t specifically sacrificing women, and maybe I’d get some sympathy from them.

As we got close, Gabriel, too jovially, said, “Good evening, you wonderful people.” They all replied in kind, smiling and wishing us a good evening as Gabriel walked me to my untimely death.

Why couldn’t I just stay in my room? That’s right—because I got horny. My horniness is going to be the death of me.

When we finally made it inside the place, I had never been so happy to see light bulbs in my life. Finally, I could see. The room itself was big, with a myriad of folding chairs organized for an audience facing a set of wooden chairs at the front of the room. I knew it… it was a cult! Satan probably came out and sat on the wooden chair, but who sat beside him?

I heard a voice inside me say, “So, this is what it has come to? Hanging out in dark alleys with Satanists who may or may not be inclined to have human sacrifices.” I should probably make it known that I’m not a virgin; maybe that would keep me off their list.

As I hung onto Gabriel’s arm, which probably didn’t have any blood circulation left because I was a human tourniquet clinging to him, he walked us toward a cluster of unsuspecting people who were casually talking. When we got close to the group, Gabriel said to them, “Hello, you band of perverts!” They all turned and smiled.

 It was two men and two women. One of the men turned to face Gabriel and said, “My brother, I am so happy that you made it.” Gabriel replied, “You said you wanted me here; here I am.” — AHA! That was the guy on the phone! Then they hugged in what seemed like a very happy reunion, as if they hadn’t seen each other in years.

Gabriel then worked his way through the group in the same fashion. One of the women asked him in a playfully concerned way, “Gabriel, is your girlfriend old enough to be here?” He laughed and said, “Don’t worry, we got a fake ID on our way here; she’s cool.” They all laughed.

Once they were done greeting each other, Gabriel turned and said to the group, “This is Red.” Then each of them said hi and introduced themselves, putting their hand out for me. The guy he first hugged said, “Hi, Red, I’m Magneto. So, you’re the girl who’s been keeping Gabriel from hanging out with us?” I just sheepishly smiled, and he said, “Gabriel mentioned you were shy; I don’t think that will last hanging out with him.” They all laughed in playful agreement.

When the girls said hello, they both had compliments for me. The first one said, “Hello, Red, you’re so beautiful!” and the other agreed, complimenting me on my hair.

There was so much personality in that group; it was overwhelming. I quickly caught on to the fact that they all joked openly and without hesitation. I mean, what happened to being sensitive?

I just stood there, nodding and smiling. They were all joking and laughing loudly, and it was funny, but I was just overwhelmed. A few weeks ago, so many people in a room like this would’ve sent me running home.

While they were joking, talking, and laughing, I was still trying to figure out the relationships. The girl who made the age joke—we’ll call her Blue because she was wearing a blue outfit—was obviously with Magneto. The other girl, we’ll call her Beige, seemed to be with the other guy, Loki.

 To be fair, they did try to include me in the conversation, but I was just too shy to contribute anything except shy smiles and single-syllable answers.

After what was only a few minutes (but felt like an eternity because I had to be in Gabriel’s presence and share his attention so much, which was a little unnerving), Gabriel finally said, “Let’s find a seat; it’s about to start… FINALLY!”

When we sat down, Gabriel grabbed my hand and asked how I was doing. I just replied that I was a bit overwhelmed, but I was getting better. He said, “You’re doing great, beautiful. As soon as it’s over, we’ll get out of here, ok?” I just nodded.

As I scanned the room, I saw that there must’ve been about 60 or 70 people. Some were dressed in leather, some in denim—it was a complete mix, with every ethnicity, style, and vibe you could imagine.

Then something struck me as odd: while a lot of people were sitting in chairs, some were sitting on the floor, right at someone else’s feet, like the way you’d sit with your legs folded under you. I saw men with women sitting at their feet, women with men at theirs, and even same-gender pairs. My curiosity was going bananas! Gabriel was definitely getting an earful of questions on the ride home; that was the one thing I knew for sure!

Then a few people went to the front and started speaking—guess they were the hosts. They talked about all kinds of relationship stuff and how they handled it. Some of the topics were jealousy, long-distance relationships (ha! Where were they during my computer-romancing days?), breakups, and even death in a relationship. It was fascinating! They handled every single one of those topics with so much care and love, and even the way they talked to the audience was… warm and welcoming.

When the audience asked questions or answered, they kept using terms that stood out—they talked about “my top,” “my bottom,” “my sub,” “my dom,” “my master,” “my slave”—and all of it just lit my curiosity right up! I might have to ask Gabriel to drive for a few hours to answer my questions.

Eventually, the lady at the front called a special guest speaker, Guru Chandler Bing, to the front. He spoke about how dominants needed to embrace their femininity, not confront everything with their masculinity, and how they should learn to receive.

The way he spoke was warm and clear; I could tell he was passionate about what he was talking about. He was also very good at conveying his points without being overwhelming.

When he was done, he asked if anyone had questions or something to say, and of course, Gabriel started talking, making the entire fucking room look at me while looking at him—at least, that’s how it felt.

In a nutshell, Gabriel thanked Chandler for bringing a topic to light that is seldom discussed but so beneficial to healthy relationships. What stood out the most was when he said, “Sometimes I am so busy expressing my dominance that I forget to receive their submissiveness.”

He said that Chandler’s choice of topic and the way he delivered the information helped him see things more clearly.

Listening to Gabriel talk that way about himself gave me a different perspective. All this time, I thought he was pretty much set, like people say about older folks, “he is set in his ways.” But he wasn’t—he was still trying to get better, at whatever this was.

In my opinion, he was very attentive to my needs and took care of me when I needed it most. Did he see something I didn’t see? And then, my eager, selfish side chimed in, “It gets better?!”

I asked myself if I was one of those things: top, bottom, sub, dom, master, slave? What are all these things!? Was there something here that Gabriel expected of me? Was there a specific reason for him bringing me here? Was this a regular Thursday thing for Gabriel, or was it a one-time thing he did for his friend?

 After the Guru finished addressing questions and all that, Magneto went to the front and gave a brief lecture about dealing with anxiety and depression in a non-monogamous relationship. It was also fascinating, and, if I’m honest, some of it was uncomfortably familiar.

Eventually, the meeting was done, and we regrouped with his friends for a warm goodbye as Gabriel explained we had to go. He told Magneto he needed to let all that information sink in before he could give a full-blown opinion, but added, “Thought-provoking as only you can deliver, my brother.” We said our final goodbyes—must’ve been like 40 rounds of goodbyes before he actually meant it—and then we walked away.

I was starting to feel a bit of relief, but of course my Sir decided he needed to go talk with the Guru… more pressure! Just when I was getting used to his friends, now I had to deal with him talking to the Guru. My only hope was that they’d leave me out of the conversation—what would I even say?

We approached the Guru while he was talking with other people. His clothes were definitely unconventional, and he wore a bead necklace—not too different from the one Gabriel always wore.

It didn’t take long for the Guru to notice us, or rather, to notice Gabriel, and he immediately lit up and said, “Gabriel! Haven’t seen you in a while. How is everything?”—they knew each other? Gabriel has Guru friends?

Gabriel smiled and replied, “Life is good, Chandler. I just wanted to come by and express my gratitude; your help has changed my life completely, and I am eternally grateful.” – there is something here that I want to know! What did the Guru do?

The Guru said, “Gabriel, you’re the one who did the work, and that’s the most important part, but your gratitude humbles me.” Gabriel just looked at him and said, “Thank you, thank you so much.” They both did the prayer-hands gesture, aimed at each other, and bowed their heads. Then they shook hands, and we walked away.

 As we walked away, the Guru called Gabriel back, and Gabriel asked me to wait for him while he went back. They spoke quietly for about 30 seconds, shook hands again, and that was it.

I thought to myself, “Fuck the radio! Brace yourself, Gabriel—this is going to be a car ride full of questions, and I want answers!”

to be continued...