Before we get into this part of my story, I want to thank you guys for being patient through the tough and uncomfortable parts. I thought about leaving those parts out, but they are part of the story and I want to be as candid a possible.

-Red

Part 46

After that, I just burrowed myself into him and the comfort he created for me.

I kept thinking about everything that had happened that night and all the different emotions I had gone through, and maybe it was just too much for me to handle.
It was such an absurd paradox, I really wanted to be part of this, but at the same time it was overwhelming beyond anything I had experienced before. I thought the beginning of relationships were supposed be the honeymoon stage where everything was wonderful, but this was emotionally heavy, and it did not seem like there was an end in sight. And now I had to deal with the whole STD thing along with getting on birth control… it was a lot.

It occurred to me that being cautious was pointless if Christina was out there going on dates, doing who knows what. I mean, if we’re sitting here being safe and she was out there collecting germs, or worse, to bring back to us, it really was pointless.

I felt like I had the right to know, so I asked, “Gabriel, how does it work? How can we stay safe if Christina is dating other people and maybe getting infected. Doesn’t that put us at risk?”
Gabriel took a deep breath and said, “Such a great question, I am so enamored with your brain.

While Chrissie is going on dates, she is not DATING anyone, and she is under very strict and explicit rules about her dating.
One of those rules is that if she is ever sexually engaged in any way, shape or form with anyone, she is to let me know before it happens, and in the worst of scenarios, immediately after.
Once that happens, all her intimate physical contact with us, will cease.

You have to remember, my main priority is the safety and wellbeing of all people in this relationship, and I will not allow you to be exposed to anything, at least that is my goal.”

I responded, “But how do you know she is being honest? I mean, she could lie and by the time we figure it out, it would be too late, don’t you think?”
He smiled and said, “hmm that brain of yours doesn’t stop working, does it?
She could lie, but then again, so could you and so could I, right?
At some point, we have to be able to trust one another.
When it comes to Chrissie, I trust her implicitly and completely, but it has not come easy and effortlessly, through the years she has proven to be one of the most loving, thoughtful and loyal people I have ever met, and YES, she can be a handful and likes to play.

On thing I know for certain about life is that everything, everything, every single thing in life has a price that we must pay. The only question is, are we willing to pay it?
So, if the price I have to pay to have such a loving and loyal person by my side is that I have to put up with a little playfulness, I consider myself fortunate.

Same with you, if the price I must pay to have you in my life is to be patient and walk with you through the initial difficulties of our relationship, I will gladly pay it… because I do believe that you’re wonderful… I know that there are other aspects to you that have yet to come out, but we will deal with those as we learn to be together.”

Alright, Mr. Preparedness, you have a speech for everything, don’t you?
I said, “Sir, Stop! You’re going to make me jealous of Chrissie again!” He quickly said, “Oh no! Don’t tell me you want to go on dates too?”
I looked at him and said, “The only dates I want to go on are with you, SIR!” he smiled and pulled me closer into him. I continued, “I mean, just the way you talk about Christina, is just, I don’t know… I guess I would like for you to talk about me like that too, you know?”

Deep breath, I knew something big was coming. He said, “Then you’re not JEALOUS, you are ENVIOUS. Those are two different things, beautiful.
For what it is worth, I am very pleased that we’re no longer talking about jealousy.
Envy is much easier to handle and not necessarily a bad thing.
So, what you are saying is that you desire to reach a similar kind of closeness and reliance as I have with Chrissie, correct?
Or are you saying that you don’t want Chrissie around us?”

Hmm… Now, that was an interesting question. I took a moment to think, and I searched inside myself, and honestly, I did not have a problem with Chrissie anymore. I liked her. AND I was not even going to get myself started thinking about the lip gloss thing at that moment.

I answered in the safest way possible. The way he was learning to read me, I did not want to risk getting called out on the lip gloss thing, so I said, “You’re right, it is envy. So, what can I do to get there?”
He took a breath and said, “Only time and consistence can get you there. I mean, don’t feel pressured, it is not a competition. I just need you to be yourself at all times, that is the consistency that matters.
You can’t be consistent if you’re always trying to be someone else, eventually the real you will come out, and she will come out  swinging, in a moment of pressure… so, I’d rather you just be you, show me who you really are and that will show me what I can depend on. Does that make sense to you?”

It did make sense, but what if the “real me” was not up to par and I fail him? I sort of knew that these questions were dumb, but the reality was that I had never really been in a relationship, so how was I to know what “the real me” was like?

I said, “Sir, I have a confession to make, and I don’t know what to do or how to say it, so I am just going to come out and say it.
Also, please don’t make fun of me, not right now.
I have never been in a real relationship, and it is embarrassing to realize that I don’t really know how I am in a relationship.
All I know for sure is that when things get uncomfortable, I run to my room and under the blankets… that’s the God honest truth.”

Gabriel looked at me in silence for a second or two, took a deep breath and said, “Beautiful, you ARE in a relationship, so you can never again say that you’ve never been in a relationship; and being the person that you are in that relationship with, makes me the world’s leading expert on being in a relationship with you, doesn’t it?” I quickly said, “yes, but…” he signaled me to wait because he was not done and continued, “As the world’s leading expert in this subject, you should believe me when I tell you that in a relationship, you are strong, brave, honest, open-minded and very attentive – not to mention that you’re hilarious and a very curious learning machine!
On top of all that, you’re punctual, which is a big plus in my book.
Those are some very attractive and desirable qualities to have… and between me, you and the backseat, I am looking forward to taking full advantage of all those qualities, and I can’t wait to see what else you’re bringing to play with.”

I had to admit, he was right—there’s no denying I’m hilarious! But I also thought about how much of what he said was due to his influence—he either pushed or encouraged me to be those things. But as my mom says, “don’t look in the mouth of a horse that’s a gift,” or something like that. So, I just left it there and said, “Sir, you’re just trying to make me blush, aren’t you?” and he replied, “I see that you’re going to make me work harder for that, but I’ll get you” and we both laughed.

He continued, “Seriously though, I think you’re incredible so far and I am so anxious to see you flourish into your amazing self… and don’t get me started on the wetness you’ve got going —on both sides!” He did it, he got me… I blushed and squirmed from embarrassment. I felt shocked, and just couldn’t say anything as he asked “What? Too soon?”
I just sat there with my mouth open as he cockily said, “Yup, I’ve still got it.”

I had to give him credit, he managed to make me laugh and blush. It was so unexpected, especially considering the heaviness of the conversations we were having. I wanted to ask if the wetness was abnormal or if he liked it, but given the moments we had just gone through, anything in the sexual realm didn’t feel right.

I really had no idea how it worked and wanted to know, so I asked Gabriel how the whole testing thing worked and how we were going to do it. He explained that we would get together the next day and go to a clinic, they would do the exam, draw blood and maybe require urine and that would be it, we would wait a week and then get the results.

Again, I was sure that his knowledge of all of this should’ve scared me, but the fact that he knew what he was doing made me feel at ease. I was certainly going to do my own research when I got home, but it was comforting to at least have some idea of what was going to happen.
I did get curious about the certainty and calm with which he spoke, so I asked him when the last time he had been tested. He scuffed and said, “A month ago. In this family, we get tested every three months. I know it may seem like overkill, but the wellbeing of every member of this family is a top priority for me. We can call it one of our rituals, we take the day off, go get tested and then enjoy the day together.

I’ve been getting tested every three months for years now and I have never had a test come back positive, same thing for Chrissie. This time, we’re going to get tested mostly for your peace of mind, and I am relatively sure that your test will come back negative as well. Usually when you’re infected with something, your body will tell you and urge you to take some sort of action.

Of course, there are situations when people don’t have symptoms, or they ignore them, but that’s another reason to get tested.

But try to relax, I will be there with you and for you every step of the way.”

I felt myself let out a sigh of relief. The fact that he thought about all this, and made it part of his life as well as Chrissie, made me feel a bit more at ease.
It occurred to me that maybe their luck could be contagious and my tests would come back negative as well… hey, a girl can hope!

I asked, “So, what happens after this… the test? Any other big things?” He took a second to think and said, “Well, after this is over, we relax and enjoy our relationship. I think we’ve covered all the major things.
Obviously, growth never stops and as you get more and more comfortable, new aspects of you will jump out. Also, we’ll be getting to know more about each other and other things will jump out.
And I cannot tell you how much I am looking forward to all of that… It’ll be fun!”

I giggled a little and it made me feel good to know that there was some light at the end of the tunnel because all this heaviness was wearing me out!
I mean, the flirting and everything I was learning was also good… and the orgasms, Jesus fucking Christ the orgasms! Those were great too!
It then occurred to me that I had gone a long time without any physical contact with anyone, and since he moonwalked into my life, I had been hugged by three people, including my own mother, which I did not see coming… It felt good.
I heard a voice inside me saying, “Sooo, if all those things are so good, stop bitching about the heaviness, Red!
What are you going to do, go back to your room and not get hugged again? Are you going to go back to your mediocre orgasms?
He said that it’s almost over, and then, more orgasms!”
I am almost certain that was my vagina talking… but she was right. I could do this.

At that point, I was spent, and I am sure Gabriel was too because he said it was time to go home. While he removed the privacy screen and readjusted his front seats, he instructed me to make sure that everything in the back seat was clean, even gave me some wet wipes to ensure his back seat was spotless.

After that, he walked me back to my car and said that he would be picking me up the next day so we could go get tested and then head to meet his friend.
Then he asked if I was comfortable with him kissing me good night, which I thought was weird, but I understood where he was coming from. I figured if there was anything to be infected with, I surely was infected by now!
So, I said, “I’d be highly offended if send me home without a goodnight kiss, Sir.” and he kissed me, which reminded me how good this all felt.

I got into my car and drove away as he stood there, watching me leave. All things considered, it was a good night.

I was still curious about what the “thing” with his friend was, but I was not worried, perhaps a bit anxious, but I figured that if I could handle meeting the jiggly bitch, I could handle anything.

When I got home, mom was already in her room and normally, I would just let that be, but something in me wanted to peek my head in and wish her good night… also tell her I loved her.
When I did, Mom looked surprised, but she smiled and told me she loved me too. A nice way to end the day!

When I got all settled in, I got on my bed and decided to look at my phone where I found a text message from a number I did not recognize… it was the jiggly bitch!

There were two messages, the first one said, “It was wonderful meeting you Red, I left you a little something to remember me by, enjoy!”
The second one was sent about an hour later and it said, “Red, I am so sorry if I made you mad or uncomfortable. I tend joke a lot and sometimes I don’t think before I do things. It is something I am working on and I am so sorry! I hope you can forgive me.”

Oh my god! I knew exactly what she was going through! I went through the same things after sending some messages. When it happened, I felt mortified by what I had said and wanted to take it back… that’s what she was going through. If what I thought was right, she was probably somewhere thinking I was ignoring her messages.
Part of me thought “Good for her! Serves her right for what she did!” but the other part remembered her in the café looking vulnerable and exposed when she was talking about feeling jealous, that was probably how she was feeling when she sent the second message… I could not let her feel like that, I knew the feeling too well to let her go through that.

Now it was my turn to torture myself with what to say to her. I thought about saying something about the lip gloss, something like “Yeah, I got your gift, it was delicious!” but no, I couldn’t do that, who knows what she might say. I figured it was best to just bypass the entire lip gloss thing and just move on to the other message. I said, “Chrissie, don’t worry! I am not mad at all, and you made me feel comfortable and welcome!”

Almost immediately, she responded “Thank God! I thought you were mad at me and didn’t want to text me back! Please don’t be mad, I promise I will try to behave!”

The rest of the conversation went on like this.
Other than fixing spelling, punctuation and longhand writing, the messages are verbatim:

Chrissie: Thank God! I thought you were mad at me and didn’t want to text me back! Please don’t be mad, I promise I will try to behave!

Me: It’s OK, Chrissie. I’m sorry I did not respond right away, I just got home.

Chrissie: Really? And just what were you doing with my Sir?

Me: We talked a lot about stuff. This is all new to me, so I have a lot of questions and stuff like that.

Chrissie: I know this is new to you, but you’re so brave and strong! I think you will do very well. Gabriel certainly thinks so, and I think he is right.

Me: I don’t think I am that brave or strong. Can I be honest with you, and you won’t judge me?

Chrissie: Of course you can, we’re in this together, silly!

Me: and don’t laugh at me either, I am shy!

Chrissie: I promise! What is it?

Me: I am scared! I don’t know what I am doing!

Chrissie: Scared of what?

Me: Everything! I mean, I have never been in a relationship before and now I am in a relationship with Gabriel, and he has you. And then all these rules and things I have to do, it’s a lot to handle.

Chrissie: What do you mean? What do you have to do?

Me: Today he told me that I should get on birth control and tomorrow we’re going to take a test for STDs… I don’t know about all this!

Chrissie: Oh! Yeah, he called me and told me that I need to go get tested again tomorrow. Unfortunately, I can’t go with you, but the place is down the street from my job, so I’ll take a break and get it done.

Chrissie: But don’t worry, it is no biggie. I actually look forward to getting tested. We usually take the day off and do something fun. And the birth control… meh, it’s a pain in the butt by when I switched from the pills to the shot, it got a lot easier.

Me: Really? There are different types? I always thought of the pill and if you miss one, you’re in trouble!

Chrissie: Yeah, you can talk to the doctor about it tomorrow. It really is not that big a deal.

Chrissie: don’t get me wrong, I understand how you feel. At first it was a huge thing for me, but now it’s just part of my life. I eat, I sleep, I work, and I get tested.

Me: I guess. I am going to do some research. Thank you, Chrissie!

Me: Oh Yeah! How was your date?

Chrissie: LOL! I was right when I said I would have more fun staying with you guys.

Me: lol!! Why? What happened?

Chrissie: Nothing happened. We had dinner and that was it. I don’t think I will be seeing him again.

Me: Why? Not your type?

Chrissie: This guy is just soooo neeeeeedy!!! LOL!

Me: What do you mean?

Chrissie: Nothing Red, it’s one of those things I have to tell you in person.

Chrissie: I know tomorrow you’ll be with Gabriel, but why don’t you come with me to class on Friday? Please say yes, it’ll be fun! And it will take your mind off everything! Pleeeeeeeeease!!

Me: idk Chrissie, sounds like more stuff for me to do.

Chrissie: Did I not say “pleeeeeeease”? Pleeeeeease????

Me: Chrissie! Let me think about it and I will let you know.

Chrissie: [She sent a selfie pouting] I feel so rejected right now. You promise you will think about it?

Me: I promise I will think about it, and I will let you know by Friday morning. Deal?

Chrissie: Oh ok… but if you say no, I will be sadder.

Me: No promises!

Chrissie: Ok Red, I am going to bed… big day tomorrow. Sweet dreams!

Me: Sweet dreams, Chrissie!

Oof! That was a lot! But I also saw a side of Chrissie I did not think I was going to see. She was sweet and thoughtful… and just as playful as Gabriel said. I was half temped to tell her what had happened in the back of the car… you know, to teach her a lesson, but I didn’t know what she might come back with. So, I played it cool and maybe I will take her up on that class on Friday.

She did help me relax in terms of the testing and birth control. She was so calm and nonchalant about it, maybe one day I could be that way too… but that won’t be tomorrow! Tomorrow I am going to be a nervous wreck!

It was time to go to sleep and I was wiped. A lot emotional, mental and physical overload throughout the day and I deserved a good night’s sleep.

to be continued...