Parts 26-29

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The next morning everything was good. I woke up before my alarm even went off, ran to the shower and right as the water was getting to my perfect temperature, I said to myself “wait a minute, I should have a quick ‘use me’ session before I get all nice and clean”.

As I was skipping toward my bed, I remember thinking about an episode of The Golden Girls where Dorothy and her soon-to-be husband had such great sex that they “named it” and I thought “ha! I have named my masturbation sessions, that’s how good they are”; I chuckled and got right to it, furiously!

After my shower, I went to the kitchen to get some breakfast and ran into mom. I said, “Good morning, mom” and she responded very indifferently, she was giving me the cold shoulder, but I did not care, I was the main girlfriend, thank you very much.

As I was walking out the door, I got my good morning text from Gabriel saying good morning, wishing me a good day and finishing it with “I can’t wait to see you tonight for our date.” I replied wishing him a good day and letting him know I would be ready by 7, and of course I had to tell him I couldn’t wait either.

The rest of the day went smoothly, though a little too slow for my taste. School was good, work was as good as it could get and now it was time to head home and get ready. I was doing time math on my way home: “if I get home by 4:15, I will have 2 hours and 45 minutes to get ready”, you know the drill.

When I got home, the first order of business was to make sure the dress and shoes were up to par for the occasion. Then I had to shower, which took extra-long because I had to get rid of unwanted hair, which included underarms, eyebrows, legs and, yes, my flower! As mom called it.

No, I was not planning on doing anything, I was not ready for sex, I knew that much; but I also was not going to take the chance of not being prepared for Mr. Gabriel, so I got every nook and cranny I could.

If you men knew everything women go through for our dates, you would be a lot more compassionate about vanishing on us, jerks!

Anyway, it was 6 o’clock and I was almost ready, just needed to do my hair, which was an ordeal; I was instructed to let it down as opposed to my almost effortless ponytail, so that was a challenge. My makeup, Jesus that was a pain, but I finally got it to a point where I was OK with it… I bet you Christina does not have to go through all this, she is probably perfect as soon as she wakes up… but she is not the main girlfriend, I am! So, it’s OK, HA!

I aimed to be completely ready by 6:30 because I know Mr. Gabriel likes to show up early and has made some remarks about not liking being late, or people who are late, and I was not about to start that way.

Sure enough, I got a text from him saying he would be there to pick me up at 6:45. I was glad I was aiming for 6:30 because if I wasn’t then he would have to wait, and he wouldn’t have that and I was not going to make him wait. I am, after all, the main girlfriend.

From 6:25 through 6:40 I just kept looking out the window to see if he was there and hoping for dear life that mom did not show up early from work and just happens to catch me leaving the house dressed like this and get into a car, she would judge the hell out of me… that did not sound like the good time I wanted.

It would’ve been so much easier to just meet at the coffee shop, why didn’t I think of that before? sigh.

At exactly 6:45 I see a car I didn’t recognize park in front of my house and thought that must be him, I hurried to get my purse and run out the door, but stopped when I see him get off the car and thought to myself “what are you doing? Get back in the car!” but no such luck, he started walking towards my door. Couldn’t he just send me a text saying “I am outside” or something like that. I just sat there waiting in quiet desperation, he was walking in slow motion or so it seemed, it took forever for him to get to the door.

He rings the doorbell, finally! I opened the door to a Gabriel dressed in a brown jacket, brown jeans and a light blue shirt, he looked delicious!

When he sees me, he said, “Red, you look absolutely stunning.” He kissed me lightly and led me to his car by my arm. He opened the door and in I went, he closed the door, and I thought “phew! No mother in sight!”.

He got in the driver's seat and said, “you smell delightful, Red” and started driving. I just smiled and allowed myself to calm down from the mixture of fear of thinking mom would show up to catch me, the angst of finally being on this date and just seeing him. Took a few deep breaths, blushed a little from Gabriel's compliments and managed to stay calm.

Once I calmed down, I was able to take in everything. His car was spotlessly clean, he must’ve just washed it, but it would not surprise me if that’s how it always was.

Then I was lulled by this soothing guitar music with some singer that was just singing a beautiful and haunting song. It was a stark contrast with what you’d hear if you got in my car with Kid Cudi or whatever was a hit at that time.

When the song that was playing ended, I just took a deep breath and sunk into the moment, quietly enjoying everything. The next song was a little bit more upbeat but kept the same atmosphere, it made me want to dance a bit. In the silence of the music, I started listening to the words of the song and at one point the singer said “I wonder how many times you've had sex” and I thought I heard wrong and blamed it on my own lusty mind, I mean, it’s true… my mind sometimes!
Then, I realized that I was hearing right and that was part of the chorus and thought it was cool… but the next line said “And I wonder do you know who'll be next”. After a few times of him singing that line, I mumbled “yes I do”, I thought I was quiet. Apparently, I was not that quiet cause Gabriel said, “Excuse me, did you say something?” I just played it off and said “No, I was just singing the song. Who is this singing?” I almost got caught not being a lady, can’t let that happen just yet.

Gabriel then said, “if you’ve never heard that song, have I got a story for you”, and that was all he needed to say, now I was curious and asked him about the story. He said “I will share the story at some point, but regardless of the story… I enjoy his music”. I just responded “ok, but you should know, I am a very curious girl.” He responded “I know. I enjoy that about you and plan to take full advantage of your curiosity”, I sheepishly smiled and left it at that.

He drove a little slow for what I was used to, I remember inside I was screaming “it’s yellow, take the light! take the light!” and “pass that slow poke, pass him!” I thought to myself “I am going to have to teach him how to drive” and laughed inside.

Finally, we made it to our destination, he parked the car and went to open my door, this was so nice. I mean, I could open my own door, but just the feeling of being cared for was unusual, but nice.

As I stepped out of the car, he stopped me and looked into my eyes and everything I said inside about his driving just melted away along with everything else in the universe. He took both my hands in his and kissed them, I was back in heaven.

When that moment was over, he put his arm out for me, I took it, and we walked towards the restaurant.

It is so weird, I’ve walked and driven down these same streets and by the same restaurants a million times, but that day, it felt like it was the first time I had ever been there.

When we got to the restaurant, he opened the door for me, and it smelled delicious! Gabriel spoke to the person in the front and told her that he had a reservation, blah blah blah.

They walked us to our table and when they did, he pulled my chair out for me to sit… I did not know what to do! Was I supposed to do anything? Was there a distance requirement or etiquette? I am so useless! They should teach this in high school!

I finally opted to get as close to the table as possible and let Gabriel handle the rest.

Ironic how I went from feeling high and mighty with driving but sitting on a fucking chair required a research team… humbling.

Anyway, we were finally there, me looking fantastic, but feeling like an impostor and Gabriel just looking into my eyes, making me more nervous and vulnerable, I loved it.

He finally spoke and said “Red, I understand that there are questions you may want to ask about the future of our relationship, but that will not happen today. Today is for you and I to just enjoy each other’s company and quite honestly, for me to enjoy you.”

I said a simple “yes sir!”, let out a big sigh of relief and decided to just let Gabriel guide me the rest of the night.

Once I knew what the plan was, I was able to relax a little more and just take in the experience.

The restaurant had a very cozy vibe. The wooden tables and curtains made the place feel warm and welcoming, like a hidden spot just for us. The soft lighting added a golden touch, making everything seem a bit magical. It was the perfect setting for our first date, simple yet just right.

There were very few people there, but the smell was to die for! Why had I not been here before? I didn’t know if I was going to be able to hold back from eating like a starving puppy.

It was so exciting and new, I was loving it.
Gabriel asked if I had ever been there and I replied, “No I have not, but I already think I should come again”. He smiled and asked me if there was anything I did not eat; he picked that particular place specifically because they pretty much cater to everyone, they have chicken, beef, shrimp and vegetarian options of all their dishes. “No, I’m fine, I eat everything.” He shot me a playful grin, his eyebrows wiggling suggestively, and I couldn’t help but blush. Flustered, I looked down, trying to hide my reaction, while he signaled to the waiter that we were ready.

He told the waiter that we would need some water and ordered an appetizer, along with our dinner plates… Don’t bother asking me what I want, just tell me what to eat, why don’t you.
Just kidding, I did not know what I was looking at, all I knew was that it all smelled delicious, and I was hungry.

Once that was out of the way, we started talking about everything and nothing. He really had a way to make me relax, and also blush cause the compliments just kept on coming. I was happy that I decided to wear this outfit, cause not for nothing but I look amazing in it.

Something that had lingered from the night before was the things I was thinking about my mom, about him going to high school with her. Somewhere along the lines, it occurred to me, it was possible; but more importantly, I really did not know much about him, his history, nothing.
All I knew was that he was married, got divorced and as much as I would like to believe that he was hiding under a rock until we met, I knew that was not true.

I said “So, Mr. Gabriel, can I ask you something?” and he said “sure, as long as it is not about the future of our relationship, remember we are here to enjoy ourselves”. I said “no, not at all, I just want to know more about you”. He said, “hmm So you want to talk about me” and I said “Yes, sir”. He became very alive and said “Well, that just so happens to be my favorite subject, and I am expert in that field. What would you like to know?”
I could not help but smile at his response and say with a bubbly giggle “everything!”

His reply was a playful yet firm mix, he said “Well Red, you’re going to have to be more specific, or we’ll be here all night. I am certain that there are more specific things you want to know, aren’t there?” I said “yes, but I can’t remember right now.” His response was unsatisfying, he said “well, when you remember you can ask me”. Geez! This was so much simpler with younger guys online, all I had to do was hint at question, and they would lay out their life story.

It took me a second to figure out how to ask and at the same time try to get him to talk a more about his life, but all I could come up with was “Where’d you go to high school?” I figured I could start trying to solve that mystery. It would be extremely hilarious if he did indeed go to high school with mom; what if they knew each other? What if they dated? What if mom had a huge crush on him and I GOT HIM??? HOLY SHIT!

His response was a lot less dramatic than I had thought, but interesting, nonetheless… at least the possibility that mom knew him was gone.
He explained that he did not go to school in the area; He grew up on the other side of the country where he, and his family, had emigrated to from one of those third world countries you never hear about unless you watch the news.

Wow! Things were getting interesting, so I asked about that, how it came about. He took a deep breath, and I was captivated because I knew a long explanation was coming and I was sure it was going to be fascinating. He said “Well, I grew up in a precarious situation. Eventually, my parents decided that for us to have a better life, we would have to emigrate, so we packed our bags and moved.”

I thought wait a minute, while he did answer my question, more and more questions started to come up, that seemed like a pattern with him.
How old was he when this all happened?
Did he speak English when he got here?

All this time he gave me long winded explanations and now he is going to clam up?? No way, Gabriel-ey! I am going to need more information. This would be so much easier if I did not have to have my date personality on.

I said “How old were you when this happened? Did you speak English, Sir?” he just smiled and said, “I was 10 years old, so learning to speak English was not so difficult for me, not like it was for my parents, in fact I picked it up relatively quick.”

Alright, at least I knew a little more, I then asked, “how was school, was it hard to get used to everything?” He responded “School was tough in the beginning, bullies and things like that, but once I got the hang of it, things became easier to navigate.
The shift in culture took a little bit longer, but watching TV helped get acclimated… How about you? How was your high school experience?”
Oh no, you fucking don’t! Don’t switch the attention back to me! Unlike you, ME is not my favorite subject. Sigh…

I replied “My school experience was not as good as it was to some people. Being quiet, shy and awkward didn’t help. Kids tried to be friends and stuff, but you’ve seen how awkward and uncomfortable I get. So, I spent a lot of time on the computer, online, and don’t judge me, but I still do… But my grades were good.”
He chuckled and said “So, what’s that like for you? Being on the computer, or online, all the time?” Aaahhh shit… I walked myself right into that one, didn’t I?

Sigh… I knew the time to save face had come and gone, let me just be upfront about it.

I started, “it is just easier, you know? If something gets out of hand, I don’t have to run or hide, I just click on a window and it is done.”
He just looked at me sympathetically, listening and said “I understand. So, what do you do while you’re online?” I let out a nervous laugh and said “almost everything, really. My friends are online, I play games, I read, watch videos, homework, almost everything.”
He was perplexed, I guess that’s how he feels when I look at him and he is explaining something.
He took a minute to take it in and said, “what about your love life?” I did not hesitate to answer, “online too, you wouldn’t understand.” I mean fuck it, right?

This was a very vulnerable moment for me. While my lifestyle was an extreme version of what everyone else was doing, it was still what everyone else was doing, but not Gabriel, he was too confident for that. I felt like he was going to start judging me and maybe even lose interest… damn it Red! That’s what this whole grown up honesty gets you.

Then he said “I understand, especially the way technology has grown and given so much access to everything. If I had the internet growing up, I probably would’ve gravitated towards it as well, as shy as I was.”
Now, pardon me, my good sir, but a shy Gabriel was hard to imagine.
He continued “One time, a lady at work tried to introduce me to her niece and I literally froze before I ran away, that really happened.”
Now that had to be a lie, I always imagined Gabriel as one of those super popular, charming guys in high school that had all the friends and all the girls all over him.

I laughed and said “No way! When did that happen?” He replied, “last week!” and we both laughed.
Then he broke the moment of laughter and said with a lively tone “Our food is here; you are going to love this.”

The food smelled soooo good and I couldn’t wait to taste it! They brought this toasty-garlic-pita-bread thing that was amazing with the creamy food.

It was my first time eating Indian food and I’ve loved it ever since.

While I was stuffing my face with that heavenly sauce, he said “So, tell me about your online love life.” I decided to be ballsy and said, “Well Sir, that is my past and it doesn’t really matter, I am now in a committed relationship and in case you have not heard, I am the main girlfriend.” He let out a boisterous laugh that echoed throughout the restaurant and probably outside.

Dodged a bullet, didn’t I?

I did not want to be completely insolent or seem like I was trying to avoid the question so I said “If you really want to know, I will tell you. I am comfortable enough to speak about it with you, Sir” to which he replied, “You are absolutely right, beautiful… it is your past, it doesn’t matter, and you are the main girlfriend and you are about to blush.” I did not see that coming… so I blushed and broke eye contact. How was he able to do that so quickly and on command?

And we continued to enjoy probably the best meal I’d had up until that point of my life.

This man kept giving me new experiences that topped anything I'd had before… and I was loving every moment of it.

When we finished our dinner, which was to die for, the waiter came back and asked if we wanted dessert, which I kind of wanted if I am being honest. Of course, Mr. Gabriel did not and said, “No thank you, just the check please.” I can’t lie and say that I was not disappointed, but I can’t just overrule Gabriel… could I? Hush Red, just play it safe… for now, next time I am so getting dessert.

We then walked out of the restaurant, Gabriel put his arm out for me, and I grabbed it, of course. We started walking but we passed his car, and I said “the car is right here, Sir” to which he replied “I know, I see it. We’re not done yet.” “Alright, I am sorry, Sir” I said, and we continued walking. After about 10 minutes of us just walking and talking and flirting, we arrived at this tiny little café and he joyfully said, “we’re here, they have the most delightful pastries, and they are open late.” Yay! I was getting dessert after all!

We walked in, he picked a table and pulled the chair for me to sit, and I didn’t hesitate this time, I was proud of myself.
It’s funny—before tonight, I would’ve said I didn’t like this because it was old-fashioned and antiquated. But now I know I was full of shit; it’s not that I didn’t like it, I just never had it before.

The café felt like a hidden garden, warm and intimate under the soft glow of string lights. A tree in the center was decorated with twinkling lights, just a cozy and secluded vibe.
How did I not know about this place? It would be a cool place to just come hang out at some point.

This time Gabriel just ordered a black coffee and instructed me to order a pastry we could share along with a drink for myself, and this was more than fine with me.

Once we got our drinks and my dessert, I wanted to continue our conversation from earlier and said, “Were you really shy?” Honestly, I just couldn’t see it, it just did not make sense. He responded "Very. Being an immigrant kid who didn’t speak the language and got bullied regularly doesn’t exactly breed the most outgoing, confident adult.
On top of that, I’m an introvert by nature, which didn’t really help either."

Hmmm... this man just keeps getting more interesting by the minute. I asked “So, how did you overcome being shy?” We will talk about the introvert part after this, cause… well, curiosity.
He replied “Who says I have overcome it? I mean, I am still shy, the shy feelings are still there, I just fight through them when it is necessary.”
I said “no no no, that goes against being shy, in principle at least. Being shy means, you can’t fight through it… right?” He was quick to respond “Sure, if you want to your shyness to define you.
Personally, I pick my battles and if think that the moment calls for me to fight through it, I fight through it. Like when a gorgeous woman throws a coin at my feet trying to get my attention… trying to pick me up.”

Wait a fucking minute! Did he just say what I think he said? Cause I think he just insinuated that I picked him up at the coffee shop.
I could not help but laugh and blush in embarrassment while he just sat there and looked at me with a smirk and his usual confidence I was getting so used to and found so sexy.
I of course denied it because I knew the furthest thing in my mind at the time was to try to pick a man up, but I had to give him credit, it was funny.

Once I regained my composure and my face was almost back to normal, I asked “Are you serious? Can you fight through it?” He swiftly responded “of course you can. You can fight through anything that makes you uncomfortable.
I believe that the key to overcoming discomfort lies within the discomfort itself."
He sighed and paused to say, “you’re going to make me talk about this whole thing, aren’t you?” he took a deep breath and continued “We're talking about shyness, correct? Shyness makes us uncomfortable and want to run to whatever is comfortable, right?” – this man was talking directly to my soul. I said “yes, Sir” and he continued “well, what happens when you run from it? Nothing! It just alleviates the pressure that you were under; but the next time you experience the same thing, you still feel uncomfortable.
Has that been your experience?” I nodded in agreement, and he continued “Well, if you are serious about overcoming something like shyness, all you have to do is sit through the discomfort and after a few times, it is not as uncomfortable anymore.”
I just sat there, listening and processing, but refuted “what if the discomfort is too much? I don’t think I can do it.” He just smiled, looked at me and said “Red, look at you. Remember when we first met? You couldn’t string two words together, and look now, you’re the main girlfriend.”

Holy shit! He was right, for some reason I was able to work through my shyness with him and that all led up to this moment right here; But I wasn’t completely sold on it so I said, “That really doesn’t count, you made it easy on me.” He replied “No I didn’t, I was being myself and you forced yourself to be yourself out in the open. That is all that happened after you purposely threw that coin at my feet.” – he smiled, and I blushed while giving the best disapproving face I could while blushing.
He was not done and said “And even after every uncomfortable moment, there was something that helped you fight through it. Let’s be realistic, every single thing I have said to you has been uncomfortable, and yet here you are… the main girlfriend.

The most interesting part of all this though, would be to find out:
what was it that made you fight through it?”

Deer in headlights, again.

As fascinated as I was with the conversation and some of the things he was helping me see about myself, I honestly could not answer that question. I didn’t know what made me stay that day at the coffee shop, but if I am being honest, I am very glad that I did.

I stayed quiet for a second and said, “I can’t answer that question, I just really don’t know.” He replied, “I think it was the gray in my beard, you have a thing for old men.” HOLY SHIT! Can this man read my mind? Is there anything about me that he doesn’t know?
There was absolutely no way he could know I was curious about older men; it just was not possible.

I decided to get a little cheeky, maybe it would take some of the pressure off and said, “Sir, please don’t do that. Don’t call me out on my shit… I am shy.” And we both laughed a little before he replied “Red, I don’t judge, and you will understand that soon enough. I am just glad you aimed at my foot when you threw that coin.” And we laughed some more.

There was a part of me that wondered if he really thought I threw that coin at his feet on purpose, or was it a joke? Is he ever going to let that joke go? Regardless, even with a bruised ego I knew it really was funny.

While all this was incredibly fascinating to me, it was helping me understand a lot about myself and I was enjoying him so much, I still felt I needed to say something that had been on my mind.
I just hoped he allowed me to because it did have to do with the state of the relationship and he was clear earlier that he did not want to get into relationship talk, but I felt it was important.

I took a deep breath and said “Sir, can I say something? I know you said you did not want to talk about our relationship tonight, but I really need to talk about it.”
He looked at me with curiosity and sympathy, then said “Go ahead beautiful, what do you need to talk about?”

I felt nervous and anxious, I honestly did not know how this was going to go, but I felt I had to say it before it was too late.
I took a deep breath and said “I need to talk about sex. I don’t know what you have planned for tonight, but I need you to know that I don’t think I am ready to jump into a sexual relationship.
I know I might’ve given you a different impression the other night, but I am just not ready.
I hope you can understand that.”

He stayed quiet for a second, took a deep breath and said “Red, you’re so adorable and beautiful. Thank you so much for saying this to me, I know how difficult it must’ve been for you to bring this up.
I appreciate it, and I am very proud of you for saying it.

Having said that, Red, look at me... I promise you that we will not have sex until you are ready, I will not pressure you or anything of the sort.

Is that something you can live with?”

I sighed in relief; I could not believe how easy and simple this was. I thought it was going to be a long and uncomfortable conversation, but he made it so easy.

I simply said “Yes Sir, I can live with that. Thank you for understanding, Sir”.

At this point, I was getting mighty comfortable with the “Sir” thing, it felt good saying it. I really didn’t understand why, but I liked it and not planning to stop anytime soon.

We went back to our dessert, coffee and flirting.

After that, we got into his car, back to the guitar music and me feeling ecstatic about everything. I did not want the night to end, and then I remembered, from now on, this is what my Tuesdays were going to be like, and it was a wonderful feeling.

With that thought, came another not so great thought, “Tomorrow is Wednesday… ‘Christine, or whatever her name is’ day.” ugh! How was I supposed to live with that?

I know I said that I could live with this. Honestly, my jealous fits were definitely a lot less intense, but there’s a difference between thinking I can handle it and actually handling it, and I was learning that lesson the hard way.

The same streets that were new and magical a few minutes ago had now turned gray and old. I even started hatching a plan to prevent Gabriel from going to see her tomorrow. I knew it was wrong, but more importantly I knew that he was going to see right through that… FUCK FUCK FUCK!

Gabriel noticed that I got quiet and said “Are you ok? You seem distracted.” Well, no shit! My main boyfriend is going to be spending the evening with Ms. Perfect Panties tomorrow, I would say that’s a big distraction, wouldn’t you?
Obviously, I did not say that, but what could I say, “I stopped enjoying myself a second ago”?
To top it off, I am not allowed to talk relationship stuff today… What I do? What I do? What I do?

On the one hand, I can let Gabriel go and he will not know the difference, but I would go home and feel like shit until foreverrrrr, ruining my night.
On the other hand, I could talk to Gabriel and ruin his night and mine as well.

AAAAAhhh fuck it! Let’s ruin everybody’s night.

I sheepishly said “Sir, I know you told me not to do this and I promise you that I tried, but I have to, or it will drive me crazy.
Can we talk about relationship stuff for a little while?”

Gabriel must’ve seen something in me that caused him to say “Ok, beautiful. Just give me a second and I will find a place for us to talk.
Can you wait a few minutes?” With a tear of frustration halfway out my eye, I nodded and said, “Yes I can”.

He drove us to the park where we had the last conversation, parked his car, got off the car and opened my door so I could come out.
When I got out, he stepped in front of me and grabbed my hands, looked me in the eyes and said “Red, no matter what it is, if we really want to, we can work through it.
Do you want to work through it?” I just nodded “yes” and then he kissed me.
Normally, that kiss would’ve made forget everything in the world, but not today, mister. Good try though.

He walked us to the same table where we sat last time, led me to sit down and sat next to me, just like he did last time.

Before I started to say anything, he said “Red, before we get in too deep, I want you to do something for me. Can you do that?” I don’t even know why he asks anymore, may as well remove question marks from his vocabulary, cause I always end up saying “yes”.
I nodded while saying “Yes”.

He calmly, too calmly for my taste, considering the dire situation, but whatever; said “Red, do you know what a ‘Safe Word’ is?” What the fuck? You want to talk about sex, now? Duuuude, read the room!
Obviously, I didn’t say that, I said “As in a sex safe word?” he smiled and said “No, but I gather you understand the concept of a safe word, correct?” I almost coherently said “yes”, but really, why? Why are you trying to talk about this now?

He just said “Splendid. Here is what I need you to do: I need you to come up with a word, the word has to be unique and something you don’t use often.

Can you think of a word now?” I was confused, why is he trying to do this right now, can’t you see I am trying to tell you something? I finally had enough and said, “Yes I can, but why are we doing THIS and why are we doing it right NOW?” He looked at me and said “Red, remember you were going to have a little faith to allow me to earn your trust, that is what I am doing right now. Please have a little faith in me and tell me your word.”

FIIIIIIINNNEEEE! I said “Magenta”. He looked at me and said “hmmm… I like it. Golden Girls reference… did not see that coming, but I like it, let’s go with it.” I just looked at him and asked, “you like The Golden Girls?” He smiled and said, “Focus Red, focus, we can have that conversation at another time.”
I can’t say that he was wrong, but really? Anyway, I said “yes, Sir… Magenta”.

He then took his customary long breath and said “Good. From now on, whenever you say the word ‘Magenta’, if it is possible at all, I will stop everything I am doing and ask, ‘Yes Red, what do you need from me right now?’ So, Magenta will be your safe word. No matter what we are doing and where we are, if you feel uncomfortable, unsafe, anxious, frustrated or any sort of emergency, all you have to do is say ‘Magenta’ and I will give you all my attention.

For example, this moment in the car, you needed to talk and for me to listen, so you would just say ‘Magenta’ and I will create the space for you to express your need at the time.

Does that make sense to you?”

Mind… Blown.
How does this guy come up with these things?

I said “Yes, I understand”. He calmly and in a serious fashion said “Good. Now explain it back to me.” What? Why?

Sigh... I replied “Ok, if I am having any sort of emergency and I need you, all I have to do is say ‘Magenta’, you will ask me what I need. Is that right?” he looked pleased and said “I couldn’t have said it better myself, that’s my girl!”
I am sure that you think that we moved on to talk about Ms. Perfect Panties, but I was curious (and you are too, so… you’re welcome!) and I had to ask “Is this also during sex?” He chuckled a bit and said “anytime, anywhere, this is your main safe word.
In time, we will have a safe word for sex, but this is your main safe word, let’s call it your ‘master safe word’.” Again, I had to ask, “so, I will have 2 safe words?” and he said “Yes, beautiful, 2 safe words, but your sex safe word only works during sex, your master safe word works anywhere, anytime.
But be careful when you use it, it has to be an emergency, or you will end up in a ‘boy who cried wolf’ type of scenario. Got it?”

I said “yes, Sir”, but now I was wondering what the hell he was planning on doing to me that I would need a “sex safe word” … Focus Red, focus!

He interrupted my sex train of thought to say, “so let’s start right now, say your master safe word” and I said “Magenta”, and this man directed all his attention to me, it was intense, and I could feel it. Then he said, “Yes Red, what do you need from me right now?” Shit this man is intense!

I do have to admit that this whole conversation really helped ease the tension I was feeling, so by the time this conversation started taking place, I was a lot more relaxed than I was when we got to the park.

So, I asked “tell you, now? Start telling you?” he replied “yes beautiful, what do you need from me right now? What do you need to say?” and I started “Well, honestly, I am feeling a bit overwhelmed with you spending tomorrow with Christina, and I really don’t know how to handle it or even if I can handle it…”

to be continued...