When my husband and I started talking about swinging we weren’t sure what we were looking for… soft swap, full, same room, separate, hotwife, ffm v. fmf, mmf v. mfm, solo dating, ENM, etc etc. We were being exposed to so much in such a short period of time that it felt like whiplash.

We decided to open up our Feeld to couples (paired individuals) and single women and our goal was to find women for me to play with or for a threesome. We were open to couples but weren’t sure what that meant for us early on. I wasn’t on birth control and I knew I didn’t want to have sex with any other men while we were trying for a baby. I also wasn’t interested in being labeled as “unicorn hunters” so I kept my options open to whoever looked interesting and fun.

Within a few days, I had so many matches and was having a blast. I started posting nudes on Reddit, I was chatting with people from all walks of life online and sexting with strangers, everything was new for me.

That’s when I met Jonathan.

I matched with him my first or second day on feeld. His profile was witty and perverted, he liked a lot of things I was into. He wasn’t necessarily attractive but I dug his personality and we hit it off immediately. He was in an open marriage but didn’t swing with his wife. He asked if I was interested in having some fun and we started sexting.

Jonathan was an “experienced dom” and I was brand new to kink (I’m a sub leaning switch). While swinging has been amazing and fun for me… kink changed my entire life. It became part of my identity overnight. I asked my husband if he was interested in free use and a 24/7 Dom sub relationship - and while he was apprehensive, he was intrigued and we decided to learn together. Being submissive came so naturally to me but being dominant wasn’t as instinctual for my husband, at least not as consistently as it was for me - he needed to be in the right mood to dom me (now that I have domme experience I get it 😅).

With Jonathan, he knew exactly what to say to make me melt. He was a bit older than me and during our first sexting experience he called himself Daddy and me little girl… and it drove me wild. I couldn’t believe it. I never thought I’d be into that! After I was done sexting, I knew I needed to have a conversation with my husband. Instead of telling him I had called another man daddy, I asked if I could. And he immediately and adamantly said no.

Frustrated, I kept talking to Jonathan but tried my best not to call him daddy. Hubs was ok with me sexting him, but he said I couldn’t submit to him or call him daddy.

But every time Jonathan called me a dirty little girl, I was back to it. We would sext every other day or so… we would keep our conversation casual (and above board) during the day but then we would get horny and break all the rules. I’d call him daddy and then orgasm and feel guilty all day. I knew I needed to stop.

The last time came about 3 weeks in. I was getting ready for girl’s night and my husband came upstairs and used my body while talking about other women. I have a cuck kink but get sensitive about it, so I was a bit bothered after we were done. Then he left me alone to cum by myself and I was horny and mad. Jonathan text me a few minutes later and I knew I was about to get into some trouble.

I broke every rule. I called him daddy. I let him tell me what to do and I listened. I was a desperate slut for him while we sexted and then right before I came Jonathan said “you have 2 owners now” … it got me so close but it fucked me up. The second after I came I knew I had to end it.

I told Jonathan I was done and ghosted him after that. I eventually came clean to my husband and he lost his mind. He had never been so angry and I had never felt so guilty. I had cheated on him within the terms of our open marriage and D/s dynamic. It was a really rough time for us and took months to fully work through.

But in the end my husband stayed and forgave me. He knew that kink did something to me and that he wasn’t experienced or necessarily comfortable with doing the things I wanted to do. He knew that if he had had more options, he probably would have gotten in trouble too (it’s common knowledge that swinger women will get 150 likes to 1 for their husband’s account 😂). We worked through a lot of big issues and insecurities that swinging can bring up, and our marriage is now stronger than ever.