I wrote this post for Craigslist personals years ago. Now I'm posting this unpublished manuscript as a window into what I as doing and thinking back in the pandemic heyday of 2021. Enjoy!

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Hello America,

It’s tough out there right now. We’re feeling disconnected, isolated, and withdrawn. It’s time to say it out loud: America has a loneliness crisis.

I believe that in a crisis, we all need to show individual leadership by making a contribution based on what we can do best for our communities and for the country.

So I was thinking: ‘What can I contribute?’ My wife reminded me that I have a very particular set of skills. Right now, she is the only one who sees the benefit of those skills. But in a crisis like this, she agrees that we all need to do our part and pitch in.

* My pitch: free oral sex for a select group of femmes other folx with pussies who truly need it *

Here’s how it works:

Step 1: You reply to this ad and let me know exactly what you need, and just how much you need it. Make a compelling case for your pussy.

Step 2: I reply with a detailed and creative description of my plan of action to address your unique needs.

Step 3: If you are still interested, we can meet up in a public outdoor location and get to know each other a little better before giving your lonely pussy the attentive care it deserves. No stress if, after we meet, it turns out to just be coffee. This is a public service, after all!

To ensure that every recipient of this service gets the special, thoughtful, and emotionally intelligent attention they deserve, I will only reply to a select few inquiries. The most successful applicants will be those who make a compelling case for their needs.

America’s unprecedented loneliness crisis is reaching a breaking point. Maybe you’re feeling that loneliness. Maybe your pussy is feeling it, too.

If so, write to me and tell me all about it. Together, we’ll end this crisis...one lick, suck, and gentle nibble at a time.

** No intercourse, please. Just my mouth and fingers. **