I'm writing an erotic tabletop roleplaying game in which the player (or players; it can be played solo or group) is a "hustler" in a den of iniquity, entertaining patrons for fun and profit. This includes prostitution, erotic dancing, nude wrestling, and the like. The player plans performances for incoming patrons, then plays them out by playing blackjack (randomness is fun!) to determine if the audience is getting their money's worth.

But I need to write examples of sex scenes for players that are unfamiliar with erotic writing and roleplaying to use as a template. I have only written this one so far:

Rookie gigolo Silver begins his night with a $50 Wallet and 10 Passion points to spend. He soon sees the Patron that the player drew before the session: “Jonathan Miller”. Jonathan is in a hurry, so the two decide to have a three-part quickie instead of the usual half-hour. Silver comes up with a plan: first, perform a striptease to give Jonathan an erection, then lube Jonathan’s penis with a blowjob, and finish with a reverse upright straddle. The two head for a Private Room and begin.

First, the striptease. To keep things simple, Silver bets $10 and pays the minimum one Passion point. If he wins the hand, he will receive his wagered money multiplied by 1.2, equaling $12.

The hand begins. Silver is dealt 8♣ and 2♦, resulting in a total value of 10. The house gets 4♥. Silver decides to hit, and is dealt 3♣. 13 isn't much, so he decides to hit again, and is dealt 4♠. Silver could theoretically hit again, but the odds of busting are too high, so he decides to stand. His hand’s final value is 17. The house hits, and draws Q♠. Face cards have a value of 10, so the dealer’s hand has a total value of 14. He hits again, and receives 5♥. Since the house's hand is greater than 17, they must stand. The hand ends. Since Silver has 17 and the house has 19, Silver loses the hand. Silver’s dancing doesn't give Jonathan an erection, and Silver loses the $10 he wagered.

On the next hand, Silver decides to change his approach. To make things more intimate, he moves in to give Jonathan a lap dance. He bets $20 and spends 4 Passion points, giving him a 1.5× payout of $30 if he succeeds. Silver is dealt 10♠ and A♦—a blackjack. Whatever the dealer received is irrelevant; Silver automatically wins the hand, getting $30. He doesn't get an additional monetary bonus from the blackjack, but he gets a better in-universe result. Jonathan doesn't just get an erection from the lap dance; he begins to edge.

Now Silver is in a bind. It's the third and final hand, so he only has time for one more action. While he could skip the blowjob and go straight to the reverse straddle, he is reluctant to do anal without lube. He settles on a blowjob, but decides to put in extra effort by smoothly sliding off Jonathan’s lap and landing on his knees, making a “begging” gesture, kissing the tip of Jonathan's penis, and finally going for a deepthroat. He wagers $20 and his remaining 5 Passion, giving him a potential 1.7× payout=$34.

Silver is dealt 8♠ and 6♦, and the dealer is dealt 8♥. Silver decides to hit, and receives K♠. Because the total value of his cards is greater than 21, Silver busts and loses the hand. His bust has no additional monetary losses than a normal loss, but the in-universe results go off too soon. Silver successfully puts himself into a submissive position as planned, but as soon as his lips touch Jonathan's penis, Jonathan orgasms and cums on Silver’s face.

In total, Silver lost $10 and 1 Passion point in the first hand, won $30 but lost 4 Passion points in the second hand, and lost $20 and 5 Passion points in the third hand. As a result, he ended up with the same amount of money he started with and spent all of his Passion points. Now he will either have to buy a Consumable to restore his Passion points or find something else to do. Quite a disappointment overall—but at least Jonathan enjoyed himself. As Silver wipes his face clean, Jonathan leans in, pinches Silver's butt, then whispers in his ear “That was fun. But I could tell you wanted to do more. Next time, show me what your cute butt can really do. See you soon, handsome...”

I have four questions: * Is it the general flow and structure of writing a sex scene clear? * Is the game procedure clear? * Are the specific actions performed within the scene logical? * Is the scene entertaining in and of itself?