It’s 9:02 and I’ve just seen the last customer out. My stomach is doing flips as I lock the door. I walk back to my office to get ready for my engagement. Out of my bag I pull a pair of black stockings and garter belt. I step out of my wool slacks and peel off my cable knit sweater. I fold both articles neatly and put them in my bag. I change from my practical cotton bikinis into a black lace thong and matching bra. I can feel the muscles between my legs contracting and my body making fluids. The mere thought of what he’s capable of doing is enough to elicit spontaneous orgasm. My body is trembling so strongly it’s hard to get my foot into my stockings. Once they’re on, I step into a pair of black stilettos and wrap myself in my full length trench. My phone starts to beep and I know it’s him.

“Hello,” my voice is low and husky.

“Are you on your way?” He sounds eager.

“Not yet.”

“Good. There’s something I want you to do for me.”

“Anything.” I whisper.

“I want you to open the package I gave you last night. I want you to take what’s in it and put it inside you...,” he pauses. I wait for him to continue and notice my panties are feeling moist. “...deep inside you,” he whispers. “I want you to turn it on and keep it there until you get to me.” I gulp, knowing what he’s going to say next. “I want you to save your orgasm for me. The pleasure will take control, but you can do it.” He hangs up.

Gaahhh!

I have a love/hate relationship with this game of his. I’m already on the verge of climaxing. I wish he were here right now to fill me, to give me something of his to grip.

Once everything is in place, I step outside and lock the door. A cab is already waiting. I get in and give the driver the address, though I know he already knows where to take me. Now comes the hard part. I need distraction. I put in my earbuds and close my eyes. The buzzing inside me seems to move in tandem with the beat of the music but I do not dare succumb to its intensity for I know the only time I’m ever free is when I’m allowed to fall far and fast into the deep, dark depths of pure rapture with him.

***

The room is black when I open my eyes. Forgetting where I am, I raise my head to find I was using a human chest as a pillow. Shit, I curse myself. I fell asleep unwittingly. I don’t like to have sleepovers; it hurts my self-control. I sit up and, not knowing which direction we’re positioned, gaze through darkness for the little green digital numbers. 4:14. Jesus, I must have really needed rest. I rise from the bed and stumble my way across the carpet, bumping into the door frame on my way into the bathroom.

“Babe,” I hear mumbled from the bed. I freeze. I know he’s not fully awake. And I don’t want him to be. To hear, to see, to smell him is to wave a syringe in front of a junkie’s face, but to touch and taste him is to plunge the needle deep into a vein. I wait for an exaggerated breath that tells me he’s in a deep slumber before going into the bathroom, locking the door and switching on the light.

The light is blinding and it feels like someone is squeezing my eyeballs. I squint so that just a sliver of light comes through my lids and I can see enough to pat around the countertop for my bag. When I find it, I drop my arm inside and clumsily rummage through its contents trying to find my toothbrush. After a couple seconds, I can open my eyes a little further. My toothbrush is lying next to the sink. Of course, I used it last night. My brain is groggy from the sleep, but my body is recharged.

While I’m brushing my teeth I study myself in the mirror. My hair is still my God-given deep auburn and cut in the same shoulder-length bob I’ve worn since college. Physically, I haven’t changed much. I do scorn the fine lines appearing around my eyes, though I know doing so only makes them worse. And mentally? Oh, mentally, I’ve taken great strides, ridding myself of my fiendish tendencies. I gather my belongings and chuckle as I sneak out of his loft, locking the door behind me.

***

In my office I switch my monitor on and settle into my black leather desk chair. I scroll through the dozens of new emails hoping I’ll find one from Leo. Bingo.

You left without saying good-bye and now I think you need to be punished. Meet me at our usual spot in the park at noon. –Leo

My stomach flutters and I inhale sharply. Already I’m excited and it’s only nine-thirty. Oh, Leo, just what do you have in store? He has creative ways of punishing me. Sometimes he’ll tie me up to his bed and tickle me with a feather or he’ll bring me almost to orgasm and then stop whatever it is that he’s doing just so I’ll squirm. Sometimes he’ll make me beg for it on my knees. But in the park? I can’t wait to find out. The last time we were in the park together, we found ourselves deep in a wooded area, off the paved walking path. He backed me up against a tree, lifted my skirt and inserted himself into me. It was dangerous but it felt good to be outside. We could have been caught and it was that excitement that made us both climax simultaneously after only four thrusts of his pelvis.

***

The cab drops me off outside the park at eleven fifty-five. As I hand the driver my fare I notice the bills are trembling and realize I’m nervous for what’s to come. In public, there isn’t much he can do to me without causing a scene but I know whatever it is, it’ll give me great pleasure. I find Leo on top of a blanket by the lake in the spot we’ve made ours. He sees me walking toward him and he smiles.

“You’re on time,” he says as I sit next to him.

“Of course I am.” I say naturally. “What are you going to do to me?” I whisper.

“I’m going to make you cum right here with all these people around and you won’t be able to make a sound.” He whispers back as he slides his hand under my waistband. His fingers are cool and he presses on my clitoris as he walks his fingers down to my opening, parting my lips as he wanders. Soon one finger is inside of me and I inhale sharply as my muscles clench and squeeze his hand. I breathe heavily and bite my lower lip. “Do you like being in front of all these people?” he whispers into my ear.

“Mmm hmm,” I squeak, afraid that if I try to say more, I’ll scream out in ecstasy. He inserts another finger and my body feels tight around him. “I can tell,” he says. “You’re so wet I wish I was inside of you. But you like to fuck and run, don’t you?”

“Mmm,” I moan. He quickly pulls his fingers out. “Bad, girl,” he says and flicks my clit with his fingernail, “silence.”

I hold my breath as he puts three of his fingers back inside of me. I can feel his hand opening my body and I wish for all of him to be inside me. If it were possible I’d let him enter me up to his elbow just so I could feel more of him. His fingers are sliding in and out of me quickly and I close my eyes and inhale a large gulp of air as he pushes his fourth finger into me. The pressure and depth are more than I can bare. Finally I let myself go and my muscles contract uncontrollably around his hand as my heart races and I’m left gasping for air.