Tongues writhing against each other. Noah’s arms around the other’s neck, desperately trying to moan his name but refusing to let go of the kiss he’d been waiting for his entire life. Their clothes gone, forgotten in the heat of their encounter. Warm, toned muscles touching every inch of Noah’s body, making him burn in delirious fever.

The bed, too small to allow any fancy maneuvers, can’t stop them from giving themselves to each other. All Noah needs is to open his legs and wrap them around his lover’s waist. The other knows how to follow; he’s done this countless times, but never the way he’s doing it now. Noah is special.

He lines his cock against Noah’s entrance, making him shiver. Finally. So many years of waiting–

“Noah!”

The loud beat of the music accompanying the flashing lights threatened to overwhelm him as he climbed down from his daydream.

“Sorry, I spaced out,” he apologized, straining to be heard.

“What’s going on with you?” Max asked with concern in his voice. “We took you out to distract you, but you’ve been out of it all night.”

“I’m fine,” Noah forced a smile. He turned to look at his friend, trying to stop himself from scanning the place in search of the one person he didn’t actually want to see. “Just a bit tired. It’s been a rough week.”

“Dude, you need to get laid!” Paul chimed in while mindlessly moving to the rhythm of the music, chugging down his fourth shot since they got there.

“Seriously, Noah. When was the last time you got some action?”

“Literally yesterday!”

“Oh–”

“How did I not know about that, though?” Paul’s eyes opened so wide they looked like they might just drop out of their sockets.

“Am I supposed to report any time I get laid?” Noah’s tone was playful, knowing it was a touchy subject.

He had indeed had sex the night before. In fact, he had spent the night at his hook-up’s dorm. It was an immediate regret, though, as he couldn’t help but imagine the poor guy being someone else, someone Noah knew and still desired. One-night stands had to be off the table for a while.

“Anyway, where’s Cole?” he suddenly changed the subject, hoping his friends wouldn’t try to probe him any further.

“Not coming,” Max replied, and Paul returned to his mindless dancing.

“Again?”

“Yeah, it’s getting a little obvious now, don’t you think?”

“What do you mean?”

“Nah, never mind.”

Noah dropped the subject, growing a little desperate at the lack of success in finding a neutral topic of conversation that didn’t involve him or the events of the past week. His brain refused to help. And so they all stood by the bar for another awkward ten minutes.

Occasionally, guys would approach them, hoping to pick up one of them. One of them almost invariably being Max. Out of their group, Max was by far the most physically attractive. A massive build on a six feet frame made eyes turn wherever they went. But his iron-clad belief in monogamy meant he would reject every last prospect coming his way.

That left Noah and Paul to pick up the discarded candidates. Except Noah had sworn off casual sex that same morning, and Paul would dance for five minutes, talk the living crap out of his poor victim and eventually come back with a disappointed look.

“I think I’m gonna call it a night, guys,” Noah admitted with a sigh.

“What a bust!” Paul was slightly slurring his words after taking yet another shot.

“I’m only here for you guys,” Max said with a shrug. “If you wanna leave, I’ll make sure this dumbass doesn’t kill himself on his way home and head to mine.”

Noah nodded and walked his friends to Max’s car. They waved each other goodbye and went their separate ways, promising to stay in contact.

The campus was eerily quiet. It was late enough that everyone had already left for the clubs and too early for anyone to make their way back. An early spring storm had hit in the afternoon, which meant the streets were still wet, and the silence was all the more oppressive due to the lack of wind that usually follows after heavy rain.

“Noah!”

For the second time that night, someone startled him by calling out his name.

A tall guy in a leather jacket, plain white t-shirt, and black jeans was jogging towards him. The unique smile on his face made him instantly recognizable. Jason, Noah noted in his mind. The guy that went to the same gym as Max.

“Hey man, what’s up?” Noah greeted him awkwardly.

“I saw you leave back there, and, uh, I just heard what happened between you and m–”

“Seriously? Does everyone know about that?” Noah interrupted, exasperated.

“Sorry,” Jason chuckled uncomfortably, looking down before meeting Noah’s eyes again. “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay?”

The sincerity in his eyes took Noah by surprise. Not that he expected the guy to be an asshole, but most everyone else had been one for the past week.

“Oh, thanks! Yeah, I’m fine,” Noah rubbed the back of his neck, not knowing what to do with his hands.

“Mind if I walk you to your dorm?” Jason offered.

“I’m not really sure I’m in the mood today–” Noah started but was immediately interrupted by a raised hand.

“I didn’t mean it that way,” the jock said solemnly. “Just wanna do something nice.”

Taken aback again, Noah nodded and turned around, resuming his walk while Jason caught up by his side.

“I’m sorry. I can go if you think this is creepy or something,” Jason stammered as if he had immediately caught second thoughts from looking at Noah’s expression.

“You don’t have to keep doing that.”

“Doing what?”

“Apologizing all the time.”

“Ah, sorry, kind of a cliched bad habit.”

Noah stared at the other one intently.

“I did it again, didn’t I?”

The laugh they shared managed to break some of the ice between them, making Noah feel more at ease. Being social wasn’t as much a part of his personality as it was for someone like Paul, but he usually didn’t struggle meeting new people either. Of course, most people weren’t dashing, tall jocks coming out of nowhere to do something nice for no apparent reason.

“So, were you alone at the club or something? Or did you ditch your friends?” Noah asked after a few seconds, preventing the previous awkwardness from settling in again.

“Nah, they were headed to a frat party. I wasn’t feeling it. I was gonna ditch them anyway,” Jason explained.

“I see.”

Another pause.

Noah took advantage of it to take a quick side-eye glance at his companion. The guy was handsome. On top of his peculiarly attractive features, brown eyes, and short hair of the same color, there was that smile. The right side of his upper lip lifted more than the left, giving him an asymmetric look that was oddly pleasing, especially when combined with the rough, hard edges that populated the rest of his face. All of it framed in a strong, square jaw that screamed stereotypical jock to anyone glancing his way.

“Hey, remember how we met?” Jason suddenly said, turning to look at Noah, making the twink quickly avert his eyes in embarrassment. Thankfully, he didn’t bring it up, instead choosing to wait for Noah’s response.

He frowned, racking his confused brain. If they had met before, he wasn’t–

“It was at that pool party, right? Like three years ago,” Noah suddenly recalled.

“Yeah! I didn’t think you’d actually remember!” Jason said with an excited grin.

Looking up to meet the guy’s eyes on purpose this time, Noah felt something violently stirring in his pants.

“You, uh, you were still in the closet back then, right?” he said nervously.

“Why do you think that?” Jason shot back defensively.

“I’m pretty sure I’ve heard Max mention you dating girls, and– oh,” realizing his mistake, Noah blushed.

After what he had experienced just four days ago, how did he go and make such a stupid mistake? Maybe he wasn’t a very skilled judge of character… or sexuality, for that matter. In fact, he definitely wasn’t.

“Did you actually think I was a closet case?” Jason chuckled with a strange glint in his eyes, giving Noah a sense of relief that he hadn’t taken it badly.

“Yeah, that or, you know, straight-curious, or whatever,” Noah mumbled.

“Straight-curious?”

“What? It’s not that weird!” the twink exclaimed, the red on his face turning scarlet.

“Do you usually get a lot of straight-curious guys?” Jason asked, raising an eyebrow and shooting a disarming half-smile.

“If I say I do, I’m gonna sound like a complete douchebag.”

“So you do.”

“I think I attract those kinds of guys because I’m 5’4, and I have a childish face, alright? I don’t threaten their masculinity or whatever,” Noah waved his hands in frustration.

“You don’t sound happy about it,” Jason inquired.

“It’s okay. Not the best relationship material, though.”

That managed to bring the conversation to a screeching halt. The events of last week lingered embarrassingly over Noah’s head.

It was only at that moment that he realized where they were. They’d been taking an unnecessarily long path to get to their destination. Jason was likely not aware of it, as Noah was the one guiding them. And Noah had been doing that unconsciously, trying to prolong the pleasant company and delay the inevitable end of their exchange and what had to follow.

“What was the other reason why you thought that?”

That smile could break the densest silence with the least amount of effort.

“You, uh, didn’t seem like you had a clear idea of what you were doing, to be honest,” Noah confessed, choosing his words carefully.

Jason’s expression changed immediately. It was his turn to feel embarrassed.

“Sorry, I might’ve been a bit drunk. You know how it is. I didn’t hurt you, did I?” he said with a sudden look of horror.

“Nah, you’re fine. Mostly you just rearranged my insides,” Noah assured him in a light tone that seemed to appease him. Jason seemed like an easygoing type of person. It felt easy to relax and let go around him. Even despite the embarrassment Noah had caused for himself.

“So, do you like the new arrangement?”

“Totally! Lots of free space to store kids now!”

They shared another laugh and continued with their walk, feeling more and more like they had known each other for years. It was ironic in a funny kind of way. At least to Noah.

“Why did you ask?”

“Ask what?”

“About how we met?”

“I just wanted to make sure you remembered me,” Jason said. “It’s been a long time since.”

“Oh, well, now you know I do,” Noah smiled.

“Yeah, I’m glad,” the jock grinned in return.

They made it all the way to Noah’s door, where they stood awkwardly for a second.

“This is me,” Noah said, pointing at the door with his thumb like an idiot.

The dimly lit hall suddenly felt crammed with Jason’s six feet figure standing there like a perfectly asymmetrical fitness model. A subtle smell of cologne made its way to Noah’s nostrils, something that hadn’t been possible before with the lack of wind or breeze outside. With weakened knees and shaken resolve, Noah held his breath expectantly.

“Listen,” Jason cleared his throat, causing Noah’s heart to skip a beat and his pants to raise a tent. “I know what happened must’ve really sucked for you. But if you ever feel like talking to someone… Sorry, would that be weird?”

Not the words Noah had hoped for, but at least they came accompanied by brown eyes scanning him from his blonde hair down to his small honey eyes, perky nose, and full lips. Every inch of the childish appearance he despised was suddenly under severe scrutiny, making him too self-conscious to keep eye contact.

“It wouldn’t be weird at all,” the aroused twink fumbled to get his phone out of his pocket and give it to the other while trying not to attract any attention to the throbbing bulge between his legs.

“Are you sure?” Jason asked but still took the phone.

“Yeah, why would it be weird?” Noah frowned.

“Because Nick is my brother.”

Fuck.

“Oh.”

“I’m really sorry,” Jason immediately jumped to apologize, seeing Noah’s expression. “I thought you knew.”

At least the boner was gone now.

“No, you’re right. Uh, I mean, I didn’t know, but you’re right in thinking I would. Why wouldn’t I know who the brother of the guy I dated for two and a half years is, right?” words were spilling out of his mouth faster than even he himself could process them.

“Shit, sorry, Noah,” the jock ran a hand through his hair and took a step back. He handed the phone back. “You can delete it if it makes you uncomfortable. I legit thought you knew, I promise.”

“You don’t need to apologize,” Noah rushed to reassure him. “It’s not like you were making a move or anything.”

“No, I’d never do that!” Jason replied a little too eagerly.

“Yeah, well, thank you, though. I had a really nice, uh, walk, I guess.”

“Alright, see ya around, I hope. And sorry again.”

***************

Nick wasn’t inside, thankfully. Noah felt a pang of anger that, for once that week, overcame his sadness. Two and a half years, but his boyfriend had never bothered to mention he had a brother at the same college they were both attending. Noah added that to the list of things Nick had kept from him for no good reason.

The next day was a Sunday. Classes would start again the day after. Those two things combined meant that the Library was the best possible hiding spot if one wanted to spend their entire day hiding from friends, family, and just people in general.

Jason didn’t text. Noah wasn’t sure how to feel about it. Thinking back to the night before, he realized the jock hadn’t made a single move the entire time. It was all in Noah’s head. He was the one that initially assumed the charming brother of his ex was approaching him to hook up. And when they were chatting in the hall, he was again the one ready to agree to a one-night stand. Of course, he wouldn’t have taken Jason into the room even if he had known about his relationship with Noah’s ex; he cringed to imagine the awkwardness of Nick walking into that, but there were always other options. In fact, the very first and only time they’d done it, it had been in a bathroom.

Eventually, that train of thought brought him back to the start. Why did Jason ask about the first time they’d met?

Initially, Noah had assumed it was just a tactic to get him horny. Make him remember a steamy drunk encounter that had left him limp and dripping cum for hours until he’d found a ride home. They hadn’t even talked before or after, only throwing each other furtive looks for a while until one made the first move. Noah had waited almost twenty minutes inside the second-floor bathroom, almost giving up before Jason finally showed up. After they finished, he took off, and Noah didn’t see him again until years later.

At the time, it made sense to think he was another one of those straight dude-bros that managed to mental-gymnastics their way into believing it wasn’t gay to fuck someone that wasn’t six feet and hyper-masculine like them; but if that was true, why did he deny it the night before?

So many questions and all the answers seemed to contradict each other.

None of it seemed to matter anyway. If Jason was related to Nick, there was no way Noah would or could be interested. Having sex with his ex’s brother seemed wrong on too many levels. Not to mention how complicated it would be to explain if it ever came out. The only solution was to forget about Jason, pretend the night before never happened, and move on.

***************

The first week of class after Spring Break went by, and research projects, homework, and classes occupied most of the space in Noah’s head. People were too busy to gossip now, meaning the incident and everything related to it was a thing of the past, thankfully. At least going to bed in the same room as his ex had become somehow tolerable now that he wasn’t reminded of it constantly throughout the entire day, even if they were still a million weeks from being able to say a word to each other.

Noah had requested a transfer before Break. The college denied it on Monday. Apparently, they had every last room occupied already. So there weren’t any other options but to accept his own fate and hope the next two years would go by fast, either that or sleeping in the hallway.

Everything related to Jason also vanished into the back of Noah’s mind. At least until next Friday, when he and Paul went to pick up Max at the gym:

“...so it looks like their own relationship is walking on thin ice after all that. They’re still together, and Max says he wants to make it work, which is typical Max, but I say that asshat should get the fuck out of our lives. The sooner, the better. But what do you think?” Paul had been going on like that since they’d met outside of class forty minutes ago. Noah had learned how to tune it out a long time ago.

“About what?” he asked as soon as he realized his friend was expecting a response.

“Cole!”

“Oh, uh, yeah, as long as he’s honest and Max is okay with it.”

“What?!”

Noah cringed, fully expecting another half-hour monologue. Thankfully, Max walked out right in time, giving Paul no choice but to shut up.

“Hey guys,” he greeted them. “Wanna grab a coffee? I have a fuck-load of work to get done. Probably pulling an all-nighter.”

“Sure.”

Their favorite coffee shop was on the other side of town, so they carpooled in Paul’s truck and drove there while he informed them how his first week had been a complete nightmare with exquisite detail. Max and Noah pretended to be a part of the conversation, sharing complicit looks and keeping their knowing smiles to a minimum, not wanting to upset their friend.

Once they got there, Paul excused himself to the restroom, and Noah jumped at the opportunity.

“Max, who was that guy spotting you today?” he asked, already knowing the answer but wanting to play the fool to see what his friend would say.

He still hadn’t told either of them of his little night walk with his ex’s brother.

“Huh?” Max was sitting in front of Noah but had been distracted trying to get the waitress’ attention. “Oh, Jason! I’ve told you about Jason before, right?”

“So you’re friends with him?” Noah inquired, choosing his words carefully.

“Not really. We do small talk sometimes when we spot each other or in the locker room.”

“Did you know he’s Nick’s brother?”

“What?! Seriously?” he shouted loud enough that the waitress finally made her way to their table.

They ordered for themselves and Paul’s usual. She and their friend crossed paths when he returned to sit next to Noah.

“What did I miss?” he asked, noticing the look of surprise still plastered on Max’s face.

“That guy Jason and Nick are brothers,” Noah explained.

“So?”

“Nothing,” Noah replied defensively. “Just saying it sucks that Nick never even mentioned he had a brother.”

“Isn’t Jason straight?” Paul asked.

“Yeah, as an arrow. Pretty sure I’ve already told you guys this,” Max said, piquing Noah’s interest again.

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. Why? Were you planning some kind of ‘Hah! I fucked your brother!’ revenge?”

Noah felt panic surge at his friend hitting too close to the truth. He’d never told either of them about the pool party. As a general rule, telling them about his encounters with straight-curious men was out of the question. The one time he did, he had to go through almost an hour of berating from both of his friends for not valuing himself more. Perhaps they were right, but there was something so kinky about it Noah could never say no.

He didn’t need to say anything, though, as the waitress came just in time with their order.

“Anyways,” Max continued, “Last I heard, he was rekindling some old flame with his high-school sweetheart. The guy does his own thing. Probably why Nick never brought him up.”

“I see,” Noah said, annoyed at himself for feeling disappointed.

The conversation drifted away after that into other mundane topics. Noah’s mind waged a silent war inside his head. Confused once again, questioning everything he had gone through at the Library. Then angry for being so curious about his ex’s brother, the same ex that had broken his heart into a million pieces. The one he still daydreamed about, and the guy he hadn’t gotten over because it was impossible to do so while sharing the same room where they had made love countless times.

His phone lit up with a text as they were getting ready to leave.

‘Hey! Been thinking about you! Wanna hang out?’