Okay so for a little context: I've been trying for at least five years and been able to drop and get really really close but I've always had issues where I break out of trance as I'm about to tip over the edge. Also I'm a trans guy (ftm) so gonna talk about my parts a little differently than some might be used to.

Anyway, I hadn't jacked off since Thursday or Friday which isn't that long to hold off, and I wasn't intentionally holding off. I just wasn't that horny so it wasn't a thought in my mind. You know how it goes.

But holy shit the horny hit me on Sunday night. I was edging for a few hours and feeling more ~in tune~ with my body than normal, so I decided to try the file Break by Mistress Calia as I saw someone suggesting it and I hadn't listened to any of her files. Idk if it was the edging after a few days of nothing, or the fact I got my period than night and my hormones were just ready to go, or Mistress Calia just pushes the buttons in my brain exactly right, but that file was doing it for me.

Maybe about 2/3 of the way through, I started thinking "oh my god I might actually be able to do this." But I broke out of trance a couple times during the file, and unfortunately, one of those times was like a minute before the final trigger, so I couldn't drop again in time.

But since I had such a positive experience and didn't have to leave the house on Monday (yesterday), I decided to just go to sleep when usually I'd break out the toy and finish myself off. So yesterday, I let myself touch and edge a bit throughout the day but that night, I tried the file again.

Holy fuck, if hit just as hard, if not harder the second time. My cock was twitching so hard and my hips were thrusting and wriggling almost involuntarily. It was such a nice feeling, like I could control them moving a little bit to move in ways that brought me more pleasure but at the same time, it was Mistress Calia's words making them grind against the air like that.

So what I did differently both times I listened to the file to stay in trance was take some of the affirmations from the beginning of the file (and some others that addressed things I knew I have trouble with in hypnosis) and repeated things like "Yes, I can do this" and "Yes, I deserve pleasure" over and over in my head when I noticed thoughts like "This isn't actually gonna work better than the other times" or other counterproductive thoughts.

What I did differently the second time I listened to the file was I started playing with my nipples because I couldn't touch between my legs of course and holy fuck that was absolutely the difference. They hurt like hell today 😭 but pinching and rolling my nipples made it feel like my cock was vibrating. My pelvic floor muscles had been tensing mostly at Mistess Calia's command more than my own for a while by that point, but rubbing my chest while the final trigger was being said over and over gave me a hand free orgasm that lasted at least a couple minutes.

I could feel phantom touches from "hands" and "vibrators" on my dick leading up to it but when I climaxed, I was still trancing of course, but also consciously marveling at the fact that I was still getting those orgasmic contractions without anything but the air touching my cock and not even any toys in my hole, and I was squirting (thank god I put a towel down beforehand) when I can count on my fingers how many times I've done that. All because there was a voice in my ear encouraging me to cum. Amazing how the brain works.

And when it was over and I was told to start calming down, the rest of my body completely relaxed, but my hips still felt like there was so much horny energy trapped in there lol They wouldn't stop bucking, albeit slower. It was more like twitching I guess. So I make a rookie mistake and I think I overdid it. I put on another ~25 minute file that gave me like a half orgasm? Then I was still pent up and I took out my vibrator and had a hands on climax. Then, like the hypochondriac I am, I had a panic attack thinking the sore muscles in my torso and shoulders were a heart attack even though I've seen other say that an HFO can leave you sore 🤦‍♂️ Anyway, I went to sleep and I'm still here 12 hours later so I think I'm fine.

Last thought because this is already too long, I was thinking I'd be like, """too thoroughly satisfied""" and not horny for at least a day or two but even after all that, I woke up hard like four hours ago and I've been hard since. I have stuff I need to get done out of the house tonight so I definitely have to hold off for at least another 8 hours but I'm thinking between how intense last night was and now having my period, if I do anything to take care of this boner, it's either going to be a few edges then sleep or a slow lowkey no-toys no-hypno jack off session because holy shit that was good but I'm BEAT 😴 Just so so so glad to know I may have cracked the code on my body lol