TLDR at the end. Sorry this got so lengthy. Appreciate any help and thank for stopping by.

The mrs and I have a bedroom d/s thing that's evolved over 20 years of marriage. We talk about it occasionally, but other than her being a brat and me being dominant we don't get into the nuances. So here we are in the EH realm and she LOVES the feeling of shutting her thoughts off and focusing on only pleasure, enjoys the increased sensitivity I can give her, and the arousal triggers I've created for her, but I am trying to take the next step to her being my "perfect, obedient slut". She knows this and says she wants it, but doesn't want to know the details. She also says she NEVER remembers a trance or what I tell her while in trance. Even when I tell her to remember I have to draw it out of her. Not sure if that matter, but I feel like it's important.

At first I was attempting to make it that when our bedroom door was locked she could not say the word "no" and any order was immediately obeyed. I did this with the trigger being me telling her the door is locked. Sometimes it would work for that night, but that was probably more arousal and never the next night. She'd look at me strange for why I kept telling her the door is locked.

But then I started noticing subtle changes. Her orgasms come more frequently now and she's in the mood more often and blow job frequency and enthusiasm increased. So I changed tactics and while in trance told her something like this, "of course it doesn't matter if the door is locked you're always my little slut, our talks while you relax and feel good just let that inner slutiness that has been there since the day you said "I do" out to play and more and more it will come out to me only as it feels better and better everyday to be my perfect obedient slut..." You get the idea.

That was about 3 weeks ago so I've been trying to play on this. We created a place in her mind where she shuts all the other thoughts off and we do "slut training". In these sessions I give her examples of things a perfect slut like her does and try to reward/associate the action in her mind with pleasure. One example is she would feel a desire to meet me after a shower to lick and dry me (something she has done before on her own). She told me the other day she kept picturing my cock throughout the day so something is working, but the actions she is supposed to take do not occur and many times I still have to hint at what she is supposed to do even right after trance for that evening.

I've tried to talk to her outside of the bedroom about what her interpretation of being my perfect little slut looks like, but she's not one to open up like that. After years together and countless other talks I'm convinced what she wants is to be free from responsibility for her actions. Does that make sense? To her women like her don't ask for an ass pounding and if I tell her that's what I want or ask for it then she'll resist, but if I were to tie her down and start she's all in because at that point it's not up to her. Is there a term for this?

With all that backstory here are my questions:

Is the lack of a pre-talk or her not being involved upfront an insurmountable issue? The full loss of control and not knowing what kind of suggestions I'm giving her I can tell turns her on so I'd like to give that to her, but I'm having trouble making progress. What would you do?

Is bratiness a road block? To me the brat thing is more playful. "oh, I told you to bend over and instead you laid down, let me fix that..." If she were to tell me something else or she isn't feeling it, that's not being bratty, just an off night like we all have. Most times it's when I'm setting the stage for what I want us to do later that she'll be resistant. When the play starts she usually changes her tune... I've wondered if the brattiness and her first reaction to resist plays a part in this.

PSA: Again, 20 years of marriage with no trust issues - I certainly would not do this with a casual partner.

TLDR: Bratty wife enjoys it when she has no input (wants to be 100% hypnotically submissive) in how or what we do, but then doesn't follow suggestions. Is the not-knowing on her part holding us back? If so, what tips do you have to make the suggestions better for her without telling her "awake" mind. If not, what do you suggest?