Title sums it up pretty good. I'm seeing my neuro later this afternoon after trying to get an appointment since November.

I had been struggling with dosage of my Keppra and Lamictal since she put me on it in late 2013. I had learned to accept the small absent seizures and the headaches every couple of days and just being somewhat alive through it all. That led me to seek medical help for my anxiety and untreated depression (at the time i didn't know i was depressed. I eventually tried to commit suicide and was directed to a psychologist and put on meds to treat my depression and anxiety.) Things were looking up. My anxiety and general mood had greatly improved but i was still struggling with the absent seizures. Fast forward to November of last year. I had a absent seizure that was quite intense (never had it that intense) and i went to the ER. Doctor at the ER called my neurologist and explained what had happened. My neuro on the other end of the phone (the only neuro in a 300km radius and also 75km away from my hometown) wasn't aware of my Citalopram intake (and suicide attempt) and while i had no say in the matter (i was in a hospital bed with a bad headache and just feeling miserable) attributed my mood problems with Keppra and removed my Citalopram (antidepressant), lowered my Keppra and upped my Lamictal.

Things didn't improve. In fact my symptoms worsened. My psychologist moved out of town, i've been put on a waiting list to see a new one. That led me to an emotional downward spiral.

I finally got an appointment today (yes, i should have gone back to the ER a few times but i'm stubborn and thought i could get through). I'm back to my miserable self. I wish she'll get me back on antidepressants and see what can be done for my epilepsy. I do plan on asking her about the options for my epilepsy meds but i'm scared of asking her to put me on antidepressants and ask her to maybe get me off work for a few days or weeks for the time being. I work in customer service and my mood, attitude and general self has been getting me in trouble at work. If i get on new meds i fear that the side effects will be fucking me up. When i went on my antidepressants i was feeling sick for a week and a half before i started feeling better. Is it okay for me to ask for some time off? I feel bad for asking her, like i'm being weak. I could though it up, no? I have this "never back down, take it on the chin" attitude, but last time i almost lost my life with that attitude. So what should i do?