Dear epilepsy community,

I have been recently facing many changes of my perception of the world, in my vision feeling etc... These changes depend on where I am. At home I feel almost normal, whereas in public, especially in school, I experience changes in my vision which will kind of feel like a frame drop, I also feel anxious, more like cautious about my next seizure, maybe stressed, besides that I also feel like my movement is automated, a bit exaggerated, but as if I'm not control of my body. I haven't realized these symptons until recently (I am saying "realized" because it also may be that I have just ignored them throughout my life). These may be similar symptoms to depersonilization syndrome.

I also experienced small "semi-unconscious seizures". These seizures usually occur while I'm concentrating on something. For instance, playing piano or just walking outside. They occur in two types of ways that describe the intensity. Firstly, I kind of experience them through a slight wave of heat that spreads through my spine, kind of when your nervous. Sometimes I experience them in a more drastic way. Usually, when I'm sleep deprived it may occur that I have a millisecond where I just blank out and am confused what I was about to do or tell. Then I remember what I wanted to do.

I also have lots of floaters, phosphenes and a static vision.

I regularly workout, do cold showers, listen to music loudly or watching short videos. Usually things that would trigger a seizure, well these things do the exact opposite to me. I feel perfectly normal while doing these things. Even when writing this. In the past 6 months I started smoking weed and have been occasionally drinking alcohol. I seem to not experience any kind of signs of seizures while doing these "drugs". So, may high dopamine activities prevent seizures?

I am 17 years old. I am a mild grand mal seizure patient, meaning that my seizures occur years/ months apart (Before my last seizure I was 2 years clean). Since my last seizure I experienced these changes. My question is if anyone has experienced similar symptoms and what helped them. Could it be that the injuries from a seizure could cause these changes. Also what medication may fight this.

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