Preface: no one but myself is making me feel like this

I cannot get over the feeling of being a burden. I absolutely abhor asking for rides everywhere, having to coordinate with other people to make plans to get around, to make sure I'm not alone for too long, to make sure I can get dropped off to friends houses like a fucking play date.

I'm 31 years old. I developed epilepsy at 30 and while I know that's not nearly as long as others have suffered from it I'm still in the anger stage of grief and I can't get past it.

I had to take a few weeks off of work (thankfully they were really great about it) after my last seizure for my own mental health and I've just spent most days either crying, trying not to scream, or trying not to puke from adjusting to my new meds that my neuro gave me since my Lamictal wasn't getting rid of them entirely.

I miss my autonomy. I miss being able to do things.