We had a rare 4-day weekend given to us off work this past weekend. I was so looking forward to it! This month I’ve also been forced to start a 6-month distance learning class for work which I really should not be wasting my time on, because as soon as I finish it I leave this career field for 4 years, and I’ll just dump whatever I learn. Anyway, I was required to do an introduction of myself using slides and audio as if I were presenting myself and my qualifications as a public affairs professional to my boss. I ended up spending almost all 4 days off working on this video (my background is video so I know how to make them look pretty awesome, even on a shortened timeline). The entire time I was working on it I told myself I’m not being a protectionist while investing so much into it. I’m simply pursuing excellence, which is a core value I strongly believe in. Well, I submitted it yesterday, and my weekend is gone. My special time with my wife and son which I so covet is gone. And what will I have to show for it? Nothing, really. Did I mention it’s an ungraded assignment? Or at least the grade won’t count. It’s an exercise to learn how to do these sorts of distance learning activities, as future ones will be graded. But hey! I preserved my principles...all while feeling sick to my stomach because of all I missed with my family.

And then I read this this morning, from Brene Brown’s “The Gifts of Imperfection:”

Life-paralysis is all of the opportunities we miss because we’re too afraid to put anything out in the world that could be imperfect. It is also all of the dreams that we don’t follow because of our deep fear of failing, making mistakes, and disappointing others. It’s terrifying to risk when you’re a perfectionist; your self-worth is on the line.

My friends...I’m suffering from life-paralysis something fierce.