Hi here it is:

This is one of the best times of the year, when the blooms of osmanthus have already withered away, yet one can still catch a faint scent of it lingering in the air, giving pleasant olfactory surprises as one walks along the road.

The weather is equally pleasurable. The Sun, instead of glaring at us with derisive heat, seems to have forgone his contempt towards us earthly beings of little significance, showers the world with tender rays.

This is one of the comments I've got.

"It read awkwardly - it looked like you were just trying to use a load of complicated words you’ve learnt recently, and have stuffed them all into the same paragraph."

Do you think if the commentor was blunt but telling the truth, or the comment was not very fair? I've got some mixed remarks from around 5 people and I'm not sure about who I should listen to.