Preface: sorry for the TMI and the length of this post. Please help me.

I am desperate to take the next step forward in managing my pain because my quality of life is dropping. I’m in such an unstable mind now and I need pain relief or else I’m going to jump off a bridge or something.

I’ll explain what pain I’m experiencing, because there’s so many different types that I don’t know if I should visit a GI before a specialist or what.

I had surgery from my gyno to remove the endometriosis in November 2020, after over a year of trying different birth controls. I was given an IUD as well and was pain free for 5 months after recovery. The pain has only gotten worse after that point and continues to do so as time goes on.

I can feel my ovaries (mostly my left) throbbing almost all the time and it can also be a stabbing, twisting pain at times. I had a cyst removed in February 2020 from my left ovary and it felt like this, but not as bad as it is now.

Occasionally, but happening more frequently now, there’s a sharp, hot-poker stabbing from what feels like my urethra, starting at the base and shooting deep internally. When that pain occurs, I can’t move or breathe much and nothing helps. It’s literally hell. It is coupled with a similar internal pain that I can’t place it’s location, but somewhere near my bladder. It isn’t a UTI as far as I know, because I experienced one last month and this pain is different.

Bowel movements are a 1-3 times a week occurrence for me, no matter what or how many stool softeners or laxatives I take. Constipation and painful bloat is constant. Up until this month, for the past two months I would feel the strong urge to poop but all that would come out is a fuck ton of yellow mucus. I would have to run to the bathroom quite often because the mucus was so frequent, but no actual bowel movement was made with it. I am now able to poop, but in small pieces and I never feel emptied. For the past year or two every bowel movement hurts during the process but much more afterward. I can’t get out of bed after a bowel movement - the pain shoots up my rectum like a hot poker rod and lasts for no less than a day. I assume this is IBS? But I’m not sure.

Because of these horrible pains I am losing sleep and have become horribly depressed, on the edge of suicidal. I have so much trauma from past doctors that I’ve held back going to another one for so long, but now is the time otherwise I don’t know what I’ll do. Ibuprofen, Tylenol, advil, aleve, etc. do nothing for me.

I am 20 and living in a world of pain. Please advise me on what step to take next. And if anyone knows any good specialists in Texas, PLEASE DM me! I’m desperate and losing sleep and hope.